Comments on: Strange Reaction http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/ Sarah and Alaric Snell-Pym living in interesting times Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:20:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Charlee http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/comment-page-1/#comment-11502 Charlee Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:59:12 +0000 http://snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/#comment-11502 <p>My turn... <em>BIG HUGS</em></p> My turn... BIG HUGS

]]> By: Lionel http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/comment-page-1/#comment-10884 Lionel Mon, 06 Nov 2006 10:20:05 +0000 http://snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/#comment-10884 <p>Dear Sarah. When someone takes their own life, it is itself an act of anger - in my experience.</p> <p>They may convince themselves that it is an act of sorrow and low self esteem, but in such a depressed state one might fade away from self neglect, but the energy is normally too low to do anything as active as taking one's life. So there normally has to be anger there too - it is an act of rage. Not necessarily a directed rage (like "I'll die then sarah will be sorry..." but more like the scream of rage at life and everything, an unfocused hitting out and hating all that is around. The scream of a thrashing baby.</p> <p>So it is utterly natural to react to anger with anger.</p> <p>I write this as I feel for you - that does not guaratee that what i write is appropriate. If it misses the mark, forgive me and let it pass by.</p> <p>Lots of Love from Lionel</p> Dear Sarah. When someone takes their own life, it is itself an act of anger - in my experience.

They may convince themselves that it is an act of sorrow and low self esteem, but in such a depressed state one might fade away from self neglect, but the energy is normally too low to do anything as active as taking one's life. So there normally has to be anger there too - it is an act of rage. Not necessarily a directed rage (like "I'll die then sarah will be sorry..." but more like the scream of rage at life and everything, an unfocused hitting out and hating all that is around. The scream of a thrashing baby.

So it is utterly natural to react to anger with anger.

I write this as I feel for you - that does not guaratee that what i write is appropriate. If it misses the mark, forgive me and let it pass by.

Lots of Love from Lionel

]]> By: Ella Gale http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/comment-page-1/#comment-10689 Ella Gale Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:55:54 +0000 http://snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/#comment-10689 <p>"It's a foolsih thing to be angry, When you have no-one to direct it at, No one who would care. You can aim at the universe, Or society, But what would be the point They will not answer Take the blame Or change. You can not attack the unseen What would that accomplish?</p> <p>The only thin you can do Is to acknowledge that the decision was his And respecting him You must respect his decision.</p> <p>But what to do with this anger?"</p> <p>That's what I feel anyway, but alaric is right, your feelings are yours and they are allowed.</p> "It's a foolsih thing to be angry, When you have no-one to direct it at, No one who would care. You can aim at the universe, Or society, But what would be the point They will not answer Take the blame Or change. You can not attack the unseen What would that accomplish?

The only thin you can do Is to acknowledge that the decision was his And respecting him You must respect his decision.

But what to do with this anger?"

That's what I feel anyway, but alaric is right, your feelings are yours and they are allowed.

]]> By: alaric http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/comment-page-1/#comment-10491 alaric Mon, 30 Oct 2006 09:57:23 +0000 http://snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/#comment-10491 <p>Love, stop doubting whether you are 'right' to feel things or whether you 'have a right' to feel things - as I keep telling you, there's no big book of rules saying who's allowed to feel what when and specifying punishments for those who feel the wrong things at the wrong times :-)</p> <p>Your feelings are yours.</p> Love, stop doubting whether you are 'right' to feel things or whether you 'have a right' to feel things - as I keep telling you, there's no big book of rules saying who's allowed to feel what when and specifying punishments for those who feel the wrong things at the wrong times :-)

Your feelings are yours.

]]> By: becca http://www.snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/comment-page-1/#comment-10466 becca Mon, 30 Oct 2006 00:06:59 +0000 http://snell-pym.org.uk/archives/2006/10/29/strange-reaction/#comment-10466 <p>Firstly Sarah i offer my condolences to you - the news has obviously upset you. I know how upset you were when Amber had died...you went really quiet and lost your "spym sparkle"...though you were probably more prepared for it happening (because of her circumstances). The loss of this friend is more sudden so more of a shock. Its not easy when a friend attempts to or actually takes their life because you obviously question whether there was anything you could have said or done to help them work through their problems/situation that was making them so unhappy. Although there are those out there that don't ever want anyones help - and there is nothing that you can do for them. You shouldn't feel guilty about not keeping in contact with people - as ppl should make the effort to stay in contact with you too! The problem is that as we get older we get trapped into everyday life, work, home decorating etc and friendships drift. But with the good friends even though you see them a couple of times a year you know that nothing changes :)</p> <p>P.S. i wouldn't hold back comforting those who were close to this person...as i am sure that they would have a similar reaction to the news as you. As far as being annoyed and angry at him - i empathise, as someone taking their own life seems like a selfish act - that no regard was given to those left behind that care/love the person. Speaking from my own experiences - when you are in that place you honestly don't believe that anyone cares and for some reason it seems like the only solution with a guarenteed and known outcome. I can't really explain it - but its almost like a comfort.</p> <p>You don't have to keep this comment uploaded on the blog if you don't want to. I just wanted to offer my thoughts and condolences to you.</p> <p>Becxx</p> Firstly Sarah i offer my condolences to you - the news has obviously upset you. I know how upset you were when Amber had died...you went really quiet and lost your "spym sparkle"...though you were probably more prepared for it happening (because of her circumstances). The loss of this friend is more sudden so more of a shock. Its not easy when a friend attempts to or actually takes their life because you obviously question whether there was anything you could have said or done to help them work through their problems/situation that was making them so unhappy. Although there are those out there that don't ever want anyones help - and there is nothing that you can do for them. You shouldn't feel guilty about not keeping in contact with people - as ppl should make the effort to stay in contact with you too! The problem is that as we get older we get trapped into everyday life, work, home decorating etc and friendships drift. But with the good friends even though you see them a couple of times a year you know that nothing changes :)

P.S. i wouldn't hold back comforting those who were close to this person...as i am sure that they would have a similar reaction to the news as you. As far as being annoyed and angry at him - i empathise, as someone taking their own life seems like a selfish act - that no regard was given to those left behind that care/love the person. Speaking from my own experiences - when you are in that place you honestly don't believe that anyone cares and for some reason it seems like the only solution with a guarenteed and known outcome. I can't really explain it - but its almost like a comfort.

You don't have to keep this comment uploaded on the blog if you don't want to. I just wanted to offer my thoughts and condolences to you.

Becxx

]]>