In my Suttons Mill family we compared ducks and hens - ducks are crazy parents that let the ducklings go anywhere unattended and many ended up falling down the waterfall, whereas hens cluck about shepherding their chicks every moment of the day. So we used to put ducks eggs under hens for a bigger return, even though the hens were so upset when the ducklings went into the water!

We were brought up like ducks, allowed to fall into the stream and go wandering far away from home, so that sort of parenting came naturally to me and i was inclined to let Alaric "learn by experience rather than law". Karin was very different - much more the attentive hen keeping a close watch on Alaric's every move. In that way we balanced each other out a bit. I think I helped karin be more relaxed about Alaric's safety and she certainly taught me some lessons in greater attentiveness.

I wonder how it worked from Alaric's point of view. I like to think that between us we reached a good compromise when we were together, but did he experience it that way?

Having bought up two children through the 80's and 90's, I came across many people who taught their children that the only way to be safe was to be taken to school and taken home again without their feet actually touching the ground or speaking to parents of other children or even the children themselves because somewhere, according to the media of all discriptions including the "Government", there may be a boogy man lurking to do damage to our children.

These boogy men have always been there, but what is different is the media constantly sensationalise so that even the most rational of parents panic and hold on to little Johny too tightly, so that at the end of school they are frightened to walk home with their friends without a responsible adult. We need to train the children how to be safe and then let them achieve safety with our support but not stifle all their investigative powers. How many are so stimulated in their play by climbing trees< having a den< mixing with other children and looking after one another (I have made the key board act up in my fervour, please forgive)but discovering that learning and exploration and interacting with us is fun and also gives them a zest for learning.

Parents and prospective parents, the nanny state and the teaching profession need to wake up and give kids a chance to grow up into questioning, inquisitive and rounded young adults who can cross the road on their own, and who do not go crazy when allowed out on their own, who do not drink themselves unconcious more than the odd time, because they have never been able to think for themselves, they have only ever done what someone told them and didn't climb trees in case they fell, or talk to little Freddies Mum incase she was one of the boogy men. Lets see children growing up rounded without being frightened of life. Give them a certain amount of freedom, an understanding of computers and the nasties that can be waiting for the unwary through the internet. Let them use their imagination. Go to groups where they spend weekends away from home, doing, under supervision some of the things that parents seem to think are so dangerous.

I may not have expressed myself in best way but unless we change our attitude to how our children are educated in the all round sense of the word, the future will continue to look bleak.

Give children the time and space to go on a trip of discovery, without too many fetters and the restrictions being imposed on us and the underhand way that new laws are being passed without our even knowing about them. Scientists who are stifled and bailiffs who can break into peoples houses to "steal" anything they need to, even if you are not there, will be deemed to be unlawful by the very generation who will our leaders them.

But please be warned that the control on our lives now is almost intolerable. I believe it is time to try to do something, but what I am not sure, perhaps one the younger minds can sort this out, If we will be accused of causing riots and sedition and total unrest. Cameras watching Asbo's being threatened on children and young adults who are not bad but just being a bit noisy, a bit cheeky and usually very untidy. Talk to most of them, no don't shout at them, explain the problem and many will just say sorry and disperse. If its just a bit of a nuisance try to remember "adults" of all ages, what you were like when you were their age and how many Asbo's you would have had and give them a chance. I climbed trees as a little fat girl in the 50's! My mother was petrified, but allowed me the freedom to do so, to break my arm twice whilst dancing on roller skates. But even by them some of the rot had set in. Time to reverse it let children show us the way. Their wisdom is vast. My granddaughter at 4 has more sense than many adults.

I believe I had better stop now. I hope this goes some way to freeing the younger generation so that they can develop in a way that is safe, rounded, thoughtful and caring of others. Not wrapped in cotton wool one minute and thrust out of the door to do "their own thing" the next, or stunted by total control both at home and at school, with no let up in between.

Angie

It's a funny thing that the situation is actually worse in South Africa and yet it does not feel so depressing – why?

My own own assessment is that South Africa was in a terrible state and is slowly (all too slowly) pulling itself out of it. Britain, on the other hand, was in my lifetime a relatively well governed and civilised nation (for all the exceptions one might think of). It is for me so much more depressing to see something healthy deteriorating than to see something sick slowly recovering.