Sleeeeeep (by )

Daddy and Mary zonked

Alaric has always needed more sleep than me when I am being 'healthy' but he does try and help and with the infections and anemia hitting me hard he has been trying to help as I was getting by on like 3 hrs sleep. But this results in my finding him and the baby asleep at random times, I am mostly understanding about this but when I am left with say the baby and Jean to entertain and he is a sleep I get a bit grumpy. Rationally this isn't fair as he needs 8-10 hrs to function and he is still working at the moment.

But Mary does now have long enough gaps during the day between feds that he can put her in the baby carrier and sit at his computer and work - this has been great this last week for me getting naps in and thus helping my body be able to look after its self.

Unfortunatly babies are designed to feed at night and unlike Jean were we were giving her one bottle of fomular a day - at night - Mary is being (now) soley fed on booby milk - this means she is not zonked on formular just before we want to sleep. We have however now got some emergancy cartons in as the other morning Jeany awoke from a nightmare and climbed into bed with me - she kneed my wound accidently and I was in so much pain that when Al bought Mary in becuase she was hungry I told them all to go away 🙁

He can't cope with the baby crying at all and he felt helpless as there was nothing in the house he could feed her with - he says he wont use the formular lightly but it's there just incase. I know it sounds like I am an awful mother but the pain was too much for me to uncurl from too feed the baby and they were all being noisy and I've had a continual headache since I had the baby which peeks when I try and do well anything that's not just laying there (mostly it's not a bad headache and is probably part of the anemia and infection stuff).

Also I am now getting to the stage where I have enough milk that I could consider expressing and having some in the fridge - Al wants me to do that so he can do some of the feeding - but he really is bad on lack of sleep so I'm not sure how much help this will be!

Anyway I leave you with a close up of the Alaric asleep!

Sleeping Alaric

Infection Update (by )

Last Monday the Dr came out to see me as I mentioned and prescribed antibiotics (two different lots) for my wound which was smelling and seeping and it turned out infected in the skin around the wound. Wednesday saw Alaric calling in the emergancy Dr per instructions on Wednesday as the redness had spread. The Dr (a guy this time) told me that it was just the upper levels of skin infected and so it was a type of dermetitis or nappy rash type thing caused by the fluid seeping from the wound. The fluid itself was cuasing or was caused by (not sure) the wound showing superficial breakdown of the skin around it.

By this point it stunk even more 🙁

He was worried that there was no dressing on it - I had been using sanitary pads at the hospital as other mothers had recommended but they told me not too and to get frumpy knickers so that nothing was touching the wound - I'd asked about my stomach flap (my stomach is very floppy now the babies out and so the bottom of the stomach sits on the wound - I thought this might make it go feisty) and they told me to wash the wound three times a day and dry it. So this is what I had been doing. The Dr said he'd talk to the Midwife or District Nurse about maybe putting dressings on it.

The Midwife came on Thursday and discharged the baby as her umbilical stump had finially come off - she looked at the wound and was concerned - saying that I would probably need more antibiotics. She advised me to put one of my maternity pads over the top of my knickers so that it sits on the wound and between it and my stomach :/

So I have been doing this and within a like an hour of doing this the burning, stinging pain of the wound deminished to a dull thud and I felt ok enough to venture out of the house for the first time.

I went on the school run but did not get out of the car and Alaric drove to a coffee place and got me a take away decaf latte to have in the car as he knows I've been missing them!

Initially the pads were coming away covered in wound seepage which included the stinky liquid and blood 🙁 This was actually more than I am loosing as having had baby discharge/giant after birth period but fortunatly the two have swapped places now!

The Dr has also upped the number of pain killers I am taking and said that I could increase my Fe tablets too if I wanted. I am rattling with pills at the moment but they do seem to be doing the trick - it is as the Dr had warned giving the baby the runs which is a pain 🙁 but barable.

I also managed to go out for a meal with my brother and his fiance this weekend though it was a struggle towards the end. The wound is now barable for using the crutches properlly but the breathlessness and dizzyness from the anemia is still there meaning that I almost fell over getting to the car 🙁

But things are definatly on the mend and I am now 12 and a half stone as apposed to the 13 stone when I came home!

More Cuteness (by )

Mary in nursing cushion

Since being home Mary has discovered the joys of sitting up - we thought it was a bit early for this but she loves sitting up (supported obviously) and looking around.

Jean and Mary

Jeany is still very much 'can I hold Mary now? I want Mary!' too the point of telling people to go away if they hold the baby too much :/

Jean's portrait of Mummy and Mary This is Jean's portrait of Mummy and Mary - she really loves taking photos!

Jean and Mary cuddles 1 Jean and Mary cuddles 2 Jean and Mary Cuddles 3

More Jean and Mary!

Infection :( (by )

Yesterday the Dr came to see me - this was scheduled anyway which was just as well as the night before after posting that everything was fine I noticed my wound was smelling 🙁 Just a bit - when I went to wash it. By the time the Dr got here it was reeking even though I have cleaned it and dried it twice. She looked at it and said there was redness again - but this time it is down around the wound which I can not myself see 🙁

I had felt it was still infected but I'd been showing it to Al and it had looked fine. She's prescribed me two lots of antibiotics which Al went and got straight away. The redness had grown by the time he came back with them - it appears to have shrunk a little bit today - he drew a line around it but when I wash the wound it washes off so we have taken to photographing it instead to try and keep track of it.

I feel this is a set back - I feel well ill to be honest - the fluey-ness is worse and I have developed mouth ulcers. If there is no proper improvement by tomorrow the Dr will come back out but I fear if that happens it's going to be hospital for intraveinous antibiotics plus I really don't like the idea of an infection that is making tens of cm2 of my skin red and hot - it is too close to septacimia and childbed fever - sometimes I think it was a bad idea to have looked into the bits of biology I have.

On top of that I had to phone my mum and tell her that even though her swabs came back clear I now had another wound infection and she needed to tell her Dr before she has her next lumpectomy. They are sending her the body wash you get if your swabs are positive - just in case.

I just feel slightly hacked off that I always get complications :/ Why does nothing ever heal properlly or why is it always me that gets ill or injured - just a bit of self pitty floating around my head. I think partly the issue is that I was looking forward to things being not a painful and to going out in the car - now the wound is burning like fire or spiking and suddenly all I really want to do is sleep and rest again :/

First Outing (by )

On Wednesday Alaric walked up to the school to pick Jeany up - as Mary had just finished her feed he took her with him 🙂

Baby Mary in possum pouch Out to the wilds with Baby

As a result of this Jeany ended up taking her baby sister in for Show and Tell on Thursday morning - Daddy helped by carrying the baby - apparently there was lots of ooing and ahhing 🙂 Though one of the kids did ask if she was a girl :/

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