Dolly’s Coat of Many Colours and My Party Dress (by )

Sometimes there is a beautiful soul that lights up the world around it - I am sure that most people have heard the news by now of Dolly Parton's passing at the age of 80 - a good age and yet with the strain on the world I could not help but want more. Dolly was a song writer, performer, comedian, savvy business woman and charity worker. I have seen it said that no style of music was untouched by her presence... she built communities and was even important in the scientific sphere, funding research and more.

I used to think declarations of grief for celebrities was stupid, but said so and was rightly told off my friend - a fellow musician and scientist. And that made my own grief for when my celebs started dying easier to bear as I had already faced that demon. Said friend liked Dolly too... (it was Michael Jackson's death I was told off over saying the reactions to were stupid, for those who are interested).

So this is my piece on Saint Dolly, as my mum used to call her:

I have an eclectic taste in music - I always called it random. When I started University I bought three CDs - Red Hot Chilli Peppers' Californication, Guns and Roses, and Dolly Parton. The last two were greatest hits and I had a portable discman which had been playing my friend's CDs all summer but I had to give them back...

I still have Dolly's CD and when Jean was little we found a massive collection of her songs that my mum had, and this was fine until we got to the one called Jeany's Afraid of the Dark... as its about a nightlight put on a grave and as my little Jeany was indeed scared and always had been scared of the dark I just couldn't cope with that song, so tended to stick to the songs I knew after that even though I pretty much loved everything I heard of hers.

As I delved into my own song writing and guitar playing I found Dolly a source of inspiration and frustration! Everything she said was pretty much awesome and the numbers of songs she'd written was mind blowing - as someone was being seen as too prolific in my own writing this made me sigh with relief as poems toppled onto the page.

Dolly wrote over five thousand songs and recorded over a thousand herself. This made my poetry and song writing look like under achieving, and I couldn't help but think about this when I received my bronze medal for a song for the Creative Olympics back in 2012. or when I composed a steampunk shanty on request and when I attended the Song Writers' Circle or when Paul Murphy mentioned me in the same sentence as her.

Her always-onwards attitude helped me when I faced setbacks including losing my voice; she was the biggest musical crossover me and my mum had and dad even liked "some" of her songs. He was more keen on her as an actor - I think it was a boob thing - her and my mum both had massive boobs. In her younger days, mum had even played the guitar and sung - she liked to rewrite pop songs to make them religious - mum was annoyingly good at this.

Dolly represented hope to my mum, whether that when mum was on soup runs for the homeless or when she was helping my diva and queen friends get that Dolly look. Then there was the fact that we used to go to barn dances, there was always a Dolly song there for the line dancing at the very minimum - I was banned from line dancing after an incident in my late teens were my failure to remember which way is left and which way is right and my general clumsy double jointedness (dyspraxia and hypermobility syndrome) resulted in me taking out pretty much the entire dance floor.

Mum got to make tasselled jackets and gingham dresses but that was later - when I was little and just starting school I had all handmade clothes which meant we were poor - it doesn't now, but in the 80's it did and there was a party coming up and I was excited but everyone was talking about their new dresses; and I wore dungarees and tracksuits mainly because I was a tom boy and always climbing things and school didn't have a compulsory uniform, and I had been in trouble every single time I was in a dress because apparently you shouldn't climb trees, or kick the football too high or sit like that in a skirt or dress. So I had cute little matching tops and trousers she'd made me.

But a party was different and on top of that I had started to be bullied for wearing homemade things... but mum was making me a dress... I can not remember which one - was it the one made of worn out velvetine bedding in hot pink that my dad made matching bows for? Or was it the knitted dress created from all the offcut yarn scraps of my nans and aunts (the one a second one of had to be made for my doll)?

I don't know but I was cross and then on the TV came this song and Dolly changed my mind singing about each stitch being made with love and scraps and I became fiercely proud of my dresses and home made things - creating problems for myself by going on and on about it, but I think it was better that way.

It was nothing compared to the kids finding out I got free school meals... Dolly Parton fed kids like me and gave them books and did it internationally and she loved everyone.

So what of the frustration?

Well a) some of her songs.... they might seem simple enough but sometimes that makes it a hell of a lot harder to play and b) I don't tend to have long nails because of playing the guitar and doing practical jobs like ground maintenance on a campsite. When I explained this it was pointed out that Dolly had the longest nails any of us had ever seen 90's and early 00's, and had been a farmer. Of course I have friends who actively grew their nails for guitar playing (one hand only) for plucking. This particular comparison was not helpful but Dolly basically had a pep talk for just finding your own way anyway. And it turns out I just kind of suck at having long nails and that is fine.

The world needs people like Dolly - my eldest bought me the news of her death last night and hadn't realised how old she was because Dolly had seemed so timeless. She was hope and love and will be missed.

For me it was like loosing another part of my mother - Dolly's music, and occasionally aesthetics, were something we shared. I was in many ways the opposite of my mum but not with this. Like Star Trek this was an "us thing". I don't know if the kids remember us all singing and dancing - belting out JOLEEEENE in a way the youngest would announce as "cringe" these days.

RIP Dolly Parton GNU

As sad as this is she was missing her husband so much and no one is truly dead until the last ripple they caused fades, and Dolly made many a splash and some of them pretty big! (Again, probably the boobs).

Dolly also made it OK for me to have big boobs and feel that that was more than OK. Body Positivity where and when it was needed.

I never met Dolly but she had a massive impact on my life and always for the positive.

"Life is like a Butterfly..."

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