Womb Gloom (by )

Wednesday I went to the hospital for the much awaited scan and though it was only an ultra sound it hurt more than any I've had whilst pregnant :/ Just everything round there is really sensitive at the moment. I was cross about the scan - I had been waiting for it for weeks this time and I had recieved a letter informing me I had missed it so I'd had to phone up to book and be told off for something that was not my fault and made to feel small due to the Royal Mail being crap. And to make it worse the health visitor didn't turn up when she was supposed to be visiting me - this annoyed me no end.

Anyway the lady doing the scan was lovely and had a conversation with Al about the machine. The initial thing was it was weird there being not baby in there but we could see a line which was the coil and the coil is in the wrong place. So in the wrong place it is going to have been doing nothing >:( but worse than that I could have gotten pregnant and had the baby and the coil in there at the same time.

I am I admit it paranoid about things going wrong and I had felt that I had regected the coil just before the bleeding came back (it stopped for about 6 weeks after an initial large increase in the bleeding after the coil had been put in but then I felt like I had a series od contraction type things and the bleeding started again.) but the coil was still their when they looked so I had to go away and come back after it had been in a year. And though I thought I was over reacting about it I didn't trust it and so have been shall we say double careful which I am now so so gratefull for it is untrue.

Anyway I was told to phone the Drs and sort an appointment for a weeks time but had struggled to get through to them. Finially I got through today and I couldn't make an appointment like that - the earliest was the second week of Novemeber which the receptionist and me agreed was no good, So I had to wait for a Dr to phone so that they could book me in one of the ermergancy slots.

They were supposed to phone before one but the specialist that they want to deal with me couldn't be tracked down so I got the phone call as Jeany was coming in from school. The issue is that it is not just the coil in the wrong place but that their is inflamation and the womb linning is too thick. So they want to have a meeting to discuess my best options and then I can come in and see them. The Dr is going to phone me back again on Monday.

The thing is that the more I've thought about it the more I really want that other baby - I suppose that will always be the case with me and Al though when ever menopause or womb stuff happened. We had wanted to finish having babies in our 30's but did sort of think we would have the whole of our 30's. But I've found out that menopause has a tendency to hit women in my family in their 30's or endometreosis occurs again in the 30's so I'm feeling as hopeful as I had been.

And yes I realise that I am lucky I have my two lovely girls and a hubby who has not gotten fed up with me even though I have been basically pre-menstral for 19 months! But I am feeling hacked off. Many of my friends haven't even started their families yet and if I'd followed my 'career' path I probably would have only just started thinking about kids now.

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