Being Demanding (by sarah)

I'm afraid that after last year of a single fan heater and the gas fire in the office and an exploding solid fuel fire and frozen water pipes I have been a bit militant this year. The year before we used the gas parabolics but I ended up rejecting them for rooms with a hyper small child plus they were only supposed to be tempory - Alaric thought his big gas heater could replace them.

The new fire works woderfully but it is still not enough to heat the whole house in the snow. Now Alaric doesn't feel the cold like I do so I stole his thermometer to prove how cold it gets - I then checked what acceptable work place temperatures. I have since obtained a large roll of bubble wrap and demanded it be put up on the windows - there are still a few upatairs that need doing.

I have also broken the covernant and bought - oil filled radiators (well actually mum and dad loaned me some money for some and I moaned at Alaric until he bought a third and then without even consulting him I have perchased a forth). These are making a suprising difference to the over all temperature of the house - as in I can actually do some things in the morning.

Of course Alaric got me the heated blanket and stuff last year which has been brilliant and my hot pads.

I am being militant for Jeany and Alaric as well as me and baby (who is due end of Jan so there could still be snow). I know he's trying to do whats right for his family - we're still working our way out of debt ect... so fuel budget was specifucally calculated and he's worried radiators will hike our electricity bill drastically and that we wont be able to pay it and be cut off and then have no way to work or cook etc.. He is not being some big troll being mean - which is what some people have suggested.

But I think on this one I have to do whats safest for my family and that includes him - I don't want him hurt again like last year and I suppose I am just being more militant about the house due to pregnancy - though it's in a worse state than ever as I just can't tidy very well 🙁

This post is being written one handed due to wrist acting up - which means crutches are a no go except for vital things and my main craft and writing are out as well which sucks.

I am aware that Alaric is struggling at the moment with work (still being up till stupid o'clock and being tired all the time) and I feel bad for putting this extra worry on him - but radiators just plug in and give heat and are easy. Part of it is - talking to Barbara and her friends I started to think it was me over reacting about the cold. But I have been talking to other mothers - and my conclusion is that I am right - my child/children need warmth - apart from the fact that I can't move at all if I get too cold.

What I'm hoping is that with my overdraft paid off as of yesterday - I can use my money and family allowance to pay any excess electricity costs. Leaving the fuel budget for the wood and the gas heater.

Icy = Fail (by sarah)

So I have been desperatly trying to keep the house warm - the new fire that my brother got is great - as long as there is fuel and kindling for me to light it and keep it going at a the rate of about one descent log every half hour. This fuel and kindling also needs to be dry and in the house where I can reach it.

But things have turned colder so I burnt the wood faster than normal to get the house up to 10 degrees :/ I put the electric heater on that Mum got us as well even though Alaric always moans about this.

The warmest I got the house was 12 degrees.

I left a goodly amount of wood in the fire over night and it was still glowing this morning, but I still struggled to light the fire - mainly as Alaric hadn't had time to get dry kindling and so had broken up a load of wet twigs for me - he'd hoped they would dry out.

I think it would have been fine if we hadn't had a power outage but after getting Jean ready for school she found ice all over the inside of the door 🙁 And then we looked at the other windows and they all had ice too 🙁 - obviously I have the thermal curtian and stuff over the door, including the draft excluder but - my home is too cold >:( If mum and dad weren't almost here I would be looking at a day of either painfully bringing in logs one at a time or having no fire. I'm not sure how many logs I could bring in like this nor the fact that I would let all the heat I do have out in getting them inside 🙁

It's been working quiet well with Al getting logs in in the morning and me maintaining the fire why he works but I really can't do it on my own 🙁 Plus, he seems to be coding until like 3 am every morning and going straight to the computer in the mornings - making meals which he eats at the computer etc... So I'm struggling to do housework - even loading the dishwasher is a mammoth task at the moment 🙁

Now the ice is making it so that the lady who picks Jean up wont be able too for safty reasons - when it was like this last year we walked Jean up to school. But I can't 🙁 I can't walk that far on ice, on crutches, up a steep hill when I've already hurt myself getting her dress and maybe lighting the fire? It would take me at least 40 minutes to reach the school anyway and then there's no where to sit and have a coffee to recuporate - I'd have to turn round and come back and then do it all again for the 3 o'clock pick up. I know this would only be Thursday and Friday when Al's in London but if he continues going in then I can't think of away to get Jean to the school - I really can not do it.

Keeping Positive (by sarah)

It is 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday and I am up and awake and in alot of pain. I haven't slept and am feeling down right grotty. Last night before sleep was attempted I got angry with everyone as I fought the pain and then when I tried to leave the room found that my walking had got so bad I had to use my arms on the furniture to get to the stairs where I promtly burst into what were supposed to be quiet tears.

I've been using crutches outside and attempting to keep walking but have been ok on the short distances needed for shuffling round the house but then a few days ago I slipped on something Jean had left on the floor resulting in a painful crunch from my pelvis. Alaric found me clinging to the door frame of her room. Pelvis didn't really settle much after that - and it felt like when you sprain your ankle. Then last night I went out to a poetry ready and music event (which was fantastic) but the step up to the stage was so high that it hurt getting up there too read and I ended reading my poems shaking - I wasn't sure how much was nerves and how much was pain.

Then tonight we went out for mums birthday - it was postponed from Friday due to her having to have a biopsy for another breast lump 🙁 She gets the results next Friday. When we got home I went upstairs to change and as I tried to change into trousers I cried out in pain. My pelvis again - since then I have not even really been able to hobble - I thought it would settle down but hasn't.

The tears were because the pain is so bad but also because though it has been slow going I have been able to move about with the crutches and in the house with out them - getting little bits of say house work done here and there. This last week when Al went to London were iffy anyway as I found I couldn't do anything really - I managed to feed, wash and cloth me and Jean and feed animals and that is it. Mum and Dad arrived to a house where Jean had unmade the setee, there was three days worth of washing up in the kitchen, the fire no lit and rug covered in crumbs.

Things are seeming quiet bad - and suddenly the third trimester of this pregnancy seems to stretch to infinity. Especially when it was seriously suggested that I might like to cut up some fire wood for Barbara as it would be good exercise for me :/ I was sort of hoping that now we have a car that we could go swimming which is about the only thing I'm supposed to do :/

But I am trying to keep positive.

Mum's biopsy will hopefully be fine fingers crossed

And I am getting a replacement string from my guitar and two books of guitar music - Nursery Rhymes and Christmas Carols so I can play and me and Jeany can sing together. I am also focusing on my writing - I am obviously doing Nanowrimo and PiBoIdMo and am now able to get to some of the nano write-ins. I am going to these reguardless of pain other wise all I have is the pain. It is the same with the poetry reading and stuff - besides I really wanted to see the music and probably more importantly talk to my friends (even if they were distracted as they were running the event!).

The main thing I fear at the moment is losing the use of my hands again - but even then I am trying to remember that the hands don't forget the muscle memory I give them they just don't work for a while and yes it takes a while to get full functionality back but what I learn stays lernt. This is important for me with things like the guitar.

I can't say I'm not feeling down because I am = I have lost the freedom I fought to get by no longer being able to get to the bus stop under my own steam and with the way my pelvis is now being I don't think I can even get out of our little bit of valley 🙁

But I got accosted by people who liked my poetry one Friday - including in the girls toilets! And I am going to a Prize Giving as one of my poems has been short listed on Wednesday. This things I am holding dear.

I am writing draft two of the novel I hope to submit to the Pratchette Prize as well which seems like an achievement in itself.

And lastly - this pregnancy is still much much MUCH better than Jeany's plus unlike last time I can see this bueatiful little girl who is being like my best friend most of the time and I think yes it was hard - so hard last time but look what I got! I have my Jeany and I'm going to have another one 🙂

Jean's been asking me to go through the songs I used to sing to her as a small baby - some of which are the same as now and some of which are different. The first song I sang to her was a sung grace saying thankyou I learnt in Kenya. I thought I was going to die with her and then with the miscarriage and infection we were worried that there wasn't a hope for another baby and yet here I am in the third trimester. This makes me happy - honest - even though I cry in pain I am happy.

Accurate budgeting (by alaric)

If you are paid monthly, then it makes sense to work on a monthly budget. Many expenses are paid monthly, so this works out quite nicely.

However, some things are paid quarterly, or even yearly. If those things are big enough that they can't just disappear into the noise of your monthly budget, you need to budget for a share of them each month, and put that money aside somewhere to save up for the annual costs.

And some things are paid weekly, or (worse) every four weeks. We used to have a self-storage room that cost us about two hundred pounds every four weeks, which was a royal pain as sometimes this meant we paid £200 a month, and sometimes £400. It was hard to lose THAT in the noise.

So, I decided to write some software to work all this out for me.

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Blocked Drains (by sarah)

The windows have been being repainted and bits being repaired which is nice except the rotting frames are just being hardened and repainted again :/ Which is what was done to them two odd years ago and now I can't open my favourite window anymore (the one I broke before as it was so rotten and Barbara insisted only the broken part be replaced - well she is paying). The frame is so rotten now I risk breaking the glass and stuff :/

Anyway apart from not having been told the guy was coming - I am very happy with getting fresh paint on stuff especially as fixed the bent metal window in the front that was letting a whopping breeze into the house (the one that Barbara had decided to jimmy open whilst we where evacuated to London in 2007 so that the cats could roam the house why we weren't here).

But he did manage to get bits and bobs in our drain outside the kitchen window - this is where all the kitchen sink and stuff drains out of a pipe into a grated hole in the floor. Now I tend to clear this drain every few weeks anyway as it has a tendency to end up with plants growing in it and leaf litter from the garden but obviously this is a bit hard for me at the moment.

Looking at it I thought it looked a little blocked so mentioned it to Al in the hope he'd get it cleared later in the day - I then forgot about it and put the washing machine on. I then get an irate Barbara at the door because we've obviously blocked the drain (probably with baby wipes) and it's all coming up through the manhole cover. Alaric comes to look and starts going on about rods and things and I'm like 'no the drain's just got a bit clogged so the water from the washing machine can't drain.'

We go back inside to find stuff to sort it - Alaric is arguing with me about it needing rods whilst I'm collecting gloves and a black sack. I'd told Barbara we would sort it, hobble back outside to find she's got a crow bar and is about to prize the cover off the manhole - which both her and Al were insisting the water was coming up through. I think I shouted at everybody and went and cleared the grill of a broken bit of paint pot and lots of paint flecks plus some leaves. The water instantly starts draining into the drain :/

I then get told that me and Al are irresponsible as we didn't stop the water and now there was soapy water draining onto some plants on the quay. As Barbara brushed excess water back up the gully bit to go down the drain. I then pointed out it was soap nuts anyway so shouldn't be too harmful and she agreed.

I was so hacked off at both of them. Especially as it wasn't even because I haven't been clearing it as regularly as normal. Alaric said he thought the pipes drained in under the ground :/ so what I was saying hadn't made sense.

The main issue for me was that I then ended up shaking with pain and walking and even getting myself out of bed was a no go for the next few days 🙁 I get so sad that I can see what needs doing and not actually do it.