Rebooting Me (by sarah)

So I have done what the Dr suggested and then thanks to responses to my other posts i.e. this one, this one and this one have no reached a situation were I can again see a future for me.

One; that involves me going with the flow of my life and not fighting against things so much. Saying - yeah ok I do actually need to do 3-4 hours of physio during the day and long hot baths to keep things under control with my back. And this goes with the science and business stuff too.

For a long time I have supressed, ignored or ridiculed my artistic self - just stuff to entertain Jean or just a way of being able to afford gifts for people. I had to choose between art and science at A'levels though I kept a toe hold with the creative writing short course.

I chose science - I chose A'levels when I could have been off to St Martins to do a Foundation course - I do and don't regret this decission. At the end of the day I have a 2:1 from Imperial College and I worked hard to get it and learnt skills that have fed into many other areas of my life. I don't think I can even be pure art in the same why I could never be a pure scientist am both.

This is my issue - I love geology and rocks and people who understand what I'm talking about if I start spouting geology terms.

And I have been assessing what I actually want out of science - what is my altermate goal?

I realised in the autum that I want to communicate science - I want to build bridges - I am not a lab monkey. But I didn't realise lab monkeys existed until I tried to go back to science. I found that during my course I loved the lectures and I adored writing the two essays on science subjects I hadn't seen before and joining it all together, pooling the knowledge that was spread out amoungst all those journals all those papers - seeing connections that others had not noticed - suggesting things to try from other branches of my knowlegde for ecology stuff and so on.

I want to write popular science and show kids that science is fun. I want to learn new things and make links that might well be lost. In a Stephen Lawhead book (can't remember what it was called but it involved Hindu gods, dreaming and Mars) they actually had a position in academia called a Bridge - a person whos job was to know a little bit about everything - to talk to people and see where the needs were and have the ability to see what connections between subjects or people needed to be made.

This is sort of I supposes Holistic stuff for science and society - looking at how it all fits together - if you are focused on one area you can't see that the answer you need is over there in the humanities departement.

I have a depressing tale where this would have been a very valuable person to have around.

At an EANA conference just before Jean came into the picture (I wont say she wasnt there becuase she was! Just!) I heard the sad tale of money time and effort and we are talking alot of money and lot of time (years) that some people spent on designing a special drill for sample return missions.

When the person I was talking too looked at what they had done he noticed that they had from first principles designed exactly the sort of thing the oil industry has been using for decades. How could this have happened?

The research group where all physists - they didn't even think to look at the mining and oil industries - it didn't occure to them that those industries had to take samples under hard conditions.

Academia at least is getting a bit better with this but only becuase inderviduals have decided to have lateral careers - ie they move from Chemistry to Physics or from Medicine to Geology and so one.

I ask myself why do I want a PhD and they answer seems to be - so that people will actually take my science writing seriously. But to do a PhD you have to be passionate about one topic, or slice of topic and be focused on that alone for 3-4 yrs. Now I still want a PhD to have tasted the science world beyound where I am now but I can't cope with doing it part time whilst trying to do everything else so I think it is going to have to wait until I am older and yes this means I am probably giving up the shining career I have gilmpsed from time to time, for the family life but hey what else am I going to do with my retirement 😉

In the mean time there is the webstuff, my blogs and art I can do in my own time at home - hopefully moving forward.

Art and writing is not just something I do to fill the time - and so I am awaiting a book of free poems becuase I happen to be one of the poets and I am going to send off more - now that I have started to have things accepted - its taken me what? 3 years from when I started submitting to things again - I have to confess I got disheartened and tend to do rashes of sending stuff off!

If I can raise the money I may go for the Craftsmen Guild - they get your stuff displayed and only demand you steward a few exhibates for a few days a year - I think I could handle that - but there would be prep work so its a maybe at the mo - I would have to get a portfolio of crafts stuff put together which would take some time I think. Plus I would like to get the dragon case mod finished before I start down that sort of root.

The writing is still all ticking away there and will continue to do so - but where does this leave the science and my course?

I'm not sure if college will agree to this but I want to drop down to the one year course and get a diplomer in reseach and so that at some point in the future I can go for a full time PhD (way in the future this is at the moment).

I want to do my pacing (part of the pain management) with 1/2 of sitting down doing computer stuff ie writing or websites and 1/2 up and at them with sorting the house and Jean out etc...

This has been working well the last few weeks though obviously pacing is far harder to actually do with Jean about.

My RingGo Ordeal (by alaric)

Many months ago, I happened to park my red van in a car park in Swindon, that had a facility to pay by card over the phone. Which was great, because I didn't have enough cash for the ticket. All was well.

But then today, I parked my new orange van in a car park in Stroud, that has the same facility provided by the same operator. So when I ring the number, it recognises me, and says "To park your red Ford Transit, registration censored, in location some number, please press 1; to park elsewhere, press 2".

So I press 2. And it asks me the number of my location (a number printed on the sign). And it asks me for payment details. Then it says "Thanks! You now have a parking ticket! If you want to contact us, check out our web site on www.myringgo.com!" And hangs up.

I note that it hasn't asked me my vehicle registration; in other words, it's assumed I'm still in the same vehicle since I rang from the same number, and gave me no option to do otherwise. It didn't even actually confirm what I was paying for; it said what the parking would cost, but otherwise just asked me questions, and never said "Ok, are you sure you want to pay amount on this card to park registration in location for three days?" - so I continued through the process, expecting to be asked if it was the same vehicle or if I had a new one, and then suddenly found myself hung up and having paid to park the wrong van.

Anyway, my train is then arriving, so I jump on it, open my laptop, and connect to the wonders of the Mobile Internet: 25% packet loss and an average ping round trip time of 15,000ms (yes, fifteen seconds) but sometimes 80,000ms (yes, a minute and twenty seconds). I go to said URL, and it's reasonably usable; but once I've had my PIN sent to my mobile and logged in, it switches to SSL.

SSL, it seems, is highly latency sensitive, since it then proceeds to take five to ten minutes to load each page, as I excruciatingly navigate their menus. I find a list of vehicles, and lo, there's my red van listed - and marked as "locked" since it's currently got an active parking session, so it can't be edited. But it suggests that you can use the Contact Us form to ask them to edit a locked vehicle for you. There's no number to ring apart from the number to talk to the automated booking system that assumes I'm still in a red van; so I go to the form, and have to jump through all the hoops of the automated systems that try and stop people from actually talking to a human, confirming I've read the FAQs and all that (thankfully, the FAQs are on plain HTTP, so quite usable), and of course having to choose my type of query from a list (where most of the options try and direct you to a FAQ or another part of the site).

There's an option for Incorrect Vehicle! So I go for that. And lo, it takes me to the page to edit my vehicles, telling me I can't edit my red van because it's currently parked. So I had to go back through the system to try and find a generic problem type that will get me to a human, then submit a query. I submit the form, and it says they'll get back to me.

If they've clamped or towed my van when I get back, or try and fine me, I'll be ANGRY...

UPDATES: See the comments for the ONGOING STORY!

Cranham Country Fayer (by sarah)

Today we went to the Cranham Country Show which is basically the school fete but in a truelly grand and exciting country village way!

No I'm serious!

On top of that Alaric arrived home with Seth and Hamlesh! Seth was getting his motobike MOTed to take away with him as he has finailly gotten his liscense!

So we headed up early as there was the Scout recruiting stall to set up and Barbara had to get Mag (her MG convertable in sunshine yellow) into the classic car show. So we headed up on mass. Dad parking the orange van in the car park which was a bumpy lumpy field with me stating we'd probably get stuck (I shall say no more about this other than when it came time to leave - guess who had to sit over the rear axil? Thats right all of us).

Seth took one look at the classic car show and brought his bike in to join in the fun!

BBC Gloucestershire radio was there much to our amazement and they had this car with a humungous aerial on the top of it! I just had to take a photo of it!

Painswick Fire department turned out again though they didn't appear to be giving out free smoke detectors like last year (ie the origin of our smoke alarm - I wanted to pick one up for Barbara).

At some point we were pounced to enter into raffles and a pound pot thing. We only had £10 on us and hadn't had lunch so we had to be a bit sparing! Seth and Hamlesh where horrified to be told they had sold out of veggi burgers at the BBQ about 5 minutes in - someone miss calculated but this was also a little fib - there was one left but the BBQ people were saving it for Alaric!

Anyway there was lots of fun things there like dogs for a dog show where they ran round a course with jumps and things - I managed to somehow not get any photos of them but did get this photo of a dog driving a car with canine passangers!

The first thing we actually did when we arrived was go to the cheek/face painting - 50p a design! There was a board of designs and I was expecting her to go for the hearts or pink at least but she has been abit obsessed lately with 'canoes and so she picked the volcano and was quiet adamant about it! I am a proud geology mum 😉

Barbara was ecstastic as there were horses/pony rides and she got Jean on a horse - Jean hesitently picked the brown one but was unsure - they went round came back. She got off had her helmet taken off and asked to go on the other horse now! Barbara hastily paid another pound and off she went again :/

I was most impressed with the Think Bike Dudes who were doing some cool tricks - some of which I was never brave enough to even attempt on my BMX! I wish I'd had time to get some better pics of them and the dogs.

Jean followed Barbara around everywhere - this is a photo of them waiting for the dog show to begin - shortly after this I found Barbara giving Jean a skiff of cider which I confiscated :/ For some reason round here some of the older generations think of cider as non-alcoholic :/

This photo looks very similar to the last but there was actually quiet alot of time between them! Instead of waiting for the dog show they are eating Jean's hot dog! Though Barbara had filled JEan up with sweets at this point.

Jean's day was completed by her being the youngest climber on the climbing wall - She actaully managed to climb a bit herself though she had alot of help! She loved being swung around in the harness and went on all the different climbing faces! Proud ex-instructor mum 🙂

At the end of the day there was the dismantling of the marquees and the like which Jean wanted to help with - I on the other hand had managed to start shaking and had to sit down and have my cup of coffee brought over - I was not happy and felt a bit stupid about this but then Jeany was having such a great time I was glad I stayed the extra - I had been going to go home earlier on!

And off course there was the slight thing of we had run out of money and then - we won £72! Which is very fortunate as there was a slight incident of me forgetting to pay our water bill and getting two at once and one of those scary red telegram things :/

It was a fantastic day which ended with us all going for a meal as well which was great 🙂

Sorting things out (by sarah)

I'm currently sorting things out for a fun weekend of family wedding and meeting up with people - there have been a few hicups already ie getting the wronge weekend for the wedding in Al's diary and concequently issues with his dad's visit!

A friends just had a baby so I'm bring some things down for her as well and have made the wedding presant and card.

I have also been sorting out paper work and my craft supplies and through talking to the local arts and craft people have been instilled with the idea of selling the cards I've been making.

Generally I've had people saying I really should be displaying my art work and things but I just don't know how to do this and have no money to join anything or hire galleries etc...

As Alaric said in hind sight giving up the art classes and writing group to go back to my course right at the point lots of things fell to pieces for me (Alex dying, mum's last lot of cancer and the realisation that we had miss understood/miscalculated money issues plus the situation with being stuffed by my main client) was a bad trade off.

I'm not even sure if I blogged back in the autum that one of my pictures was on display locally thanks to the art teacher.

This is leading me to thinking though - I love science and geology and feel it is part of me but it is easier with pain flare ups and tummy stuff to be at home writing, making websites and doing arty things - but what will make me happy?

I have never react well to having to choose between the two Art and Science. They are not even distinct in my mind but then I have a slightly odd take on things and veiw it all as creative.

I want to try and finish at least the first year of my course but it means more money we don't have but on the other hand if I don't we loose that money already invested in it.

And then the art world is so uncertain - publishing is going through the mill at the moment - big changes the industry are failing to cope with and so traditional avenues are closed but I have noticed new ones opening up - but I am beginner at this game and have no idea how to muscel my way in.

I interact with an extended communitee of writers on twitter but mainly we discuess our kids and the like. I also have science friends on there and a healthy dose of computer people and a few arty crafties but this is only making my dissusions harder.

I am all of these things but modern society doesn't really allow for Jack of all trades especially one who has intermitent health. And so by not choosing I risk achieving nothing.

But I don't think I can choose - my life feels unbalance when I do not have a mix of things.

And at the same time I feel that the house and Jean are priority - I get sick even for a few days and the house descends into chaos and I can not really allow this and so I feel an instinct to nest build until it is all easy to maintain with out me looking over everyones shoulders all the time.

I started this post thinking I was going somewhere and that I had sorted part of my life out but realised as I was writing it that it is all still open questions and discuissions to be made.

The Dr pointed out that I was one person and one person only - I am trying to take this into account with what I plan to do next.

An invasion of Wiggalls! (by sarah)

Yes Wiggalls not wiggly pets but Wiggalls, also spelt Wiggle and Wiggill. Every few years this extended family has a reunion and descends upon Cranham where some of the oldest records of the family show they live in the 1700 and 1800's. One of the properties they are thought to have lived at was Suttons Mill (the other building here where Alaric's aunt Barbara lives).

The records say treat with caution though and it is only definatly known that the Wiggall in question was a Miller in Cranham but the family still came to have a look around on Saturday afternoon.

I put on Tea, Coffee, squash and buiscuits for them - Barbara had triple booked herself for Saturday as she had an Opera in Cardiff and hadn't realised what time she had to be where. She did provide the posher buscuits mind!

We had known about the Wiggalls visit but had thought there would be about 12 people coming for tea and cake - instead Saturday morning I took a chocolate cake over to Barbara's to feed the horde when she a) announced she had forgotten about them and we needed to go and greet them at the village hall at 1 o'clock (Al wasn't due back from London until 2 as thats when she said they would be coming and b) that there were 100 American Wiggalls descending upon us expecting a historical tour of the place!!!! And me being me I went EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But at 1 o'clock I discovered that there were only 50 of them this year and not all of them would be coming - relief! There was also a lovely buffet lunch set which we were apparently invited too but Barbara couldn't hang around so I alas had to go.

The Wiggalls arrived and at the Mill at about 4 o'clock after saying they'd be here at 3! the photographer was late 🙂 They all seemed to enjoy the bits and bobs about the Mill that we could remember. And of course my piece de la resistonce - the Roman Urinal - I was thinking I should have had the photo of it out.

They took lots of photo's and signed the guest book and even bought Wiggle Pets 🙂 I should have brought out the post cards as they feature Wiggly Pets and bits of the Mill and garden but never mind! There was a little girl a bit younger than Jean with them so Jean had a great time showing her the slide - though it is wet!

Jean had got very excited about it all and had been abit confussed that the Wiggalls were going to be humans - she thought they were either giant wiggly pets, that band that sings Ferfer-esk songs, or dancing worms (I'm serious!).

They were all really nice and we even managed to end up in a discussion about metal work with some of them 🙂 They are from all over the place New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, America, Ireland and off course various local places round here!

They have demanded that we look after the place and mantian it or we will have the Wiggall clan down upon our heads! 🙂

It was a really nice afternoon once I stopped stressing about the fact they were coming. They signed the guest book and my events book - there were lots of previous entries for them in the Mills guestbook which was interesting 🙂