The Danger of Quotas (by sarah)

Recently a Ruby on Rails conference was destroyed and never took place because feminists complained there were no women on the panels and talks etc... when it was pointed out that no women applied the response was that they had not tried hard enough to find women. This attack grew until the sponsors pulled their money.

This is a shame and horrible, a lot of work had gone into the event and I'm sorry but it is not the organisers fault no women applied. They should not be forced to look for women for fear of events not going ahead. Now what should have happened is that the event went a head and effort was then put in to encourage female programmers to apply to the next one.

Even if women had applied but were not as good as other candidates, there should not be an obligation to take them on just to fill the quota.

Now obviously there is the issue that some people for some reason still seem to think women are not as capable with things such as science and maths and programming but really forcing them to put women on panels is not going to help. The quota thing is being banded about in the science world but to me this can be nothing but damaging to the image of females in science and tech.

The reason is that it devalues what they do - ok so they are there because they are actually really good at what they do - but no one is going to be thinking that - they will be thinking oh she's the token woman isn't she? I wonder if she actually knows her stuff.

Now I had issues with this during my degree. I found out about the area I really wanted to study due to an outreach programme for getting women into the sciences and this was good. In conversations I've had since with various people in charge of universities they agree that the intake of girls on the courses suddenly increased to around 50% and that this was streadily trickling upwards through the science hierachies. There was some winnowing away with the issue of women hitting the glass ceiling with finding themselves at home with kids if they went for families in their 20's, they would often then find themselves also look after sick relatives or some such making a return harder but this was being metered out by older women joining the ranks once family were off hand.

This was great and I never experienced any problems with sexism from staff or established scientists (though disability was another thing and I believe a friend who found herself pregnant had one person say she wasn't coming back so why make a fuss - she got her degree and that staff member was horrible in many other ways). I agree that evidence of women succeeding is needed but it does not need to be rammed down peoples throats. The issue is that we are heading towards equality right?

Not female supremacy.

My main beef with quotas is that though I did not receive any sexism from the lecturers or those I worked with during my work experience I did from fellow students. And the main thing they bullied me over (and yes I mean that in all it's nastiness) is that I ticked three boxes, I filled three quotas with just one person so of course I got in. I was a disabled, poor, female, the only way I could have been better for the books is by being a minority preferable not the creamy pale white I am.

And the thing is there is no come back to this - how did I know that wasn't why I was on the course?

I already knew that I'd been offered a lower grade boundary to get in than others had - a correction made as those in 'normal' schools tend to score lower grades than those in schools you pay for but tend to actually work their buts off if they manage to get in. As it turned out I got the grades needed to get in without the concession which was a great help with the confidence when arguing my right to be there.

The most important thing for succeeding is self confidence but how can you have this if you yourself are worried that you are only there because of some damn quota. A female lecturer told me this was why women had to be better than men to get to the higher jobs in the modern science world, no longer is it to get noticed but more to keep the wolves away once you are there.

To me it is saddening to see that people are still worrying about this, and I have seen 'feminists' do and say some awful things. Things that make me not want to say 'I am a feminist' - when I say it I mean that women are equal to men. When they say it they mean women are better than men and men are all horrible and must pay for centuries of persecution against women.

Well you know if that's the case then they need to look at who's ancestors persecuted who's and start worrying.

People are people.

Scientists are people that do science - end of.

It Didn’t Want to Come Out (by sarah)

WARNING this is a TMI post with some gross bits.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to have the stuck coil removed - we arrived early and so actually got to go in early! It had to be tugged, twisted and cut out as was embedded fortunately in the place of polyps so have free polyp removal and my c-section scar is unruptured - which was the main concern with the removal. It was all under a local anaesthetic which is great as generals are bad for you. I was a big baby so they gave me more to numb it all. For a while they worried that it had lost it's arms. They had to use an internal and the belly ultra sound to deal with it and were fiddling for about 45 mins - coil removal normally takes a few minutes but I knew I was going there as it was stuck and this was nothing compared to what might have had to happen..

They gave me a copy of the scan to show just HOW far away the coil was from where it should have been. The biopsy is still not done due the mess it was all in so have to wait a few months for a second scan to check for growth. Feeling sick but v v v relieved and no where near as bad as I was expecting.

The Dr said she could quiet see why I had been put off having another one to replace it but that if my bleeding became uncontrollable and dangerous again then to get my GP to send me back to the clinic so that it could be fitted using the Ultra Sound machine.

I am hoping that the headaches I've been having are going to be gone now as it is likely they were a coil side effect. Only time will tell with the bleeding but I position of the coil means that it probably was not helping with that anyway.

They could tell that one of my ovaries had just ovulated too and were being paranoid about me getting pregnant. And infact I am really lucky that I am not pregnant as as a preventative it was doing nothing.

However I realise that I am just unlucky and that the coil works for most women who have it and the number to times it goes wrong verses the number of extra pregnancies without it probably works out well (not sure don't have the stats).

I don't think I'm ever going to forget the sight of the thing when it came out as it had bits of me attached but I needed to see it to be honest just assure myself it was gone. I didn't really want it, got it for medical reasons and was always very aware of it and then when I found out it was stuck it sort of freaked me out to be honest. Part of me wonders if I somehow made my body reject it by being so worried about it - bodies are funny things.

We are very lucky to have had friends step in to look after the girls after dad's trip in an ambulance and I am just very relieved that it is gone.

Hypos and Fits (by sarah)

Mum and Dad were supposed to be coming up for a visit today, partly to look after children whilst I go to the hospital to get the stuck coil removed and partly for Mary's birthday. I got a phone call this morning to say they were not coming - I assumed it was the snow so started saying how the roads were round here.

But no Dad had a massive hypo in the night, the sort where he thrashes out and sort of fits so a real deep one. An ambulance was called and he is still in hospital on oxygen and they seem concerned due to the history of heart attack etc...

Mum says he's ok.

Update:

Dad's oxygen was low because he happens to have a chest infection which was found during an x-ray, his sugar level is all over the place but they think they can sort it. He is on antibiotics and resting they aren't letting him home yet.

Update 2:

He's been let out and is at home with a stable blood sugar and antibiotics to kill the chest infection but he is bashed up a bit from the thrashing during his fit - his head and shins and arms mainly. My brother has been a start and been with my one of my parent all day. I am a bit worried being this far away as Dad is Mum's carer and David has a full time job.

I have postponed Mary's Birthday Party too for when he better.

Pain, Peceptions and What Not (by sarah)

As those who follow me on facebook, twitter, text message or in the flesh will have detected I am in pain at the moment - I am having a flare up not just with my back and shoulder but also with my hands. Not surprising really as it is pregnancy hormone that kept these pains at bay for the last few years - instead giving me the pelvic issues. My hands are not working brilliantly but they have also been a lot worse in the past.

They are not completely useless lumps of rubber like they were at the end of my degree.

But they are weak, I can not open the baby's beaker so we need three of them so I don't have to refill whilst Al is at work. I can't open cans nor chop veg or lock/unlock the door. We have ways around most of this and those we don't we are working on.

But it is always depressing but I am being kept in ok spirits by Alaric and friends.

I am also awaiting the stuck coil to be removed and the pains associated with that which is stressing me out - I just don't like the idea of it being there at all now plus it is now spiking me. I'm trying not to be negative about things but I am being overly persermistic about stuff. Pain killers make me thick, pain makes me thick, I feel thick and dull and fat and boring to be quiet honest.

But again I have ways around this so it isn't really that bad - I just need to moan about it. Hopefully I can stop boring everyone with it all now!

Also I had injections in the top of my spin in 2003 to help with inflammation and pain and stuff - it feels like these have worn off? Is that possible? I was hoping to get longer out of them as I was told I could only ever have the injections three times in my life.

Bread Maker :) (by sarah)

I discovered a while back that soya was making the bleeding worse so we tired to get bread without it in - this ment no ready sliced bread etc... and checking with bakeries etc... but then it turned out that some of them didn't really know what was going into their bread and we were told they didn't contain soya and then when my Dad went he was told they did!

So we were making bread by hand except that my hands can't really take the neading, fortunately a friend stepped in with some no nead bread recipes which are great but I still missed classic bread.

Then my cousins decided they did not want their bread maker anymore and said we could have it! This was in the summer - it took us until Christmas to actually go and pick it up!

But we have been enjoying it 🙂