A Perfect Me Day (by sarah)

Today I got up and between breast feds and also during breast feds I made and designed cards. Some of these were thankyou cards printing out my own art work to cut out and stick with glue, some were birthday cards and some invites. There were stickers involved too and card toppers 🙂 This was done to the accompanyment of U2.

Then it started hailing and rain so Jean and Alaric came in and domesticness happened including yummy lunch of cheese and chutney toasties. We then went out to Primrose Vale Farm Shop - this was actually my first outing were there was sunshine! It was golden and lovely and sureal - we listened to Red Hot Chilli Peppers and bought nice cheeses and lovely vegitables and some funky looking popping corn. We then went and got some dinner.

On the way back to the car there was a vivid rainbow arching across the storm clouds that had appeared dark and grey tinged with violet. On close inspection the rainbow appeared to be a double rainbow with a second fainter arch on the outside. We explained about rainbows to Jeany who asked more and more questions and then had to chase the rainbow to prove what we said was true. The sunlight made the trees appear to be glowing gold and copper against the dark clouds and we listened to Gary Numan.

Board of chasing rainbows we sat at a veiwing point wating a peach and Turkish delight sunset with Tori Amos playing in the back ground, Alaric and Jean went for a walk whilst the wind scouped out the clouds into a billowed sail which drove it's mullioned shape across a brooding sky until it darkened into a drizling twilight with dirty storm light yellow tinging the edges and the lights of Gloucester begain to glint below.

We drove home to the Stone Roses and I read Terry Pratchette whilst feeding Mary and Al and Jean played Rush Hour. Jean then went to bed with a Mystery story from Daddy whilst I played my purple sparkly electric guitar - remembering part of a song I'd written at 14-15 with such delightful lyrics as 'my bones are a battle field'. It sounded good after some mucking about with tone, pick-ups and over drive settings!

I also played Mary to sleep with Little Boy Blue played harshly and loud, then some mucking about just playing randomly (at which point Al says 'oh that sounds better' :/). Playing around with what I can do resulted in Al putting on a Pink Floyd song he thought I'd been trying to work out and I'm doing some writing now!

Also this was an outing were I got out of the car and actually went into places ie Farm Shop - it was physically exhorsting and I struggled abit with standing towards the end but I did it! I almost managed to get my legs into the car myself too which is a vast improvement over last week!

I have a few story concepts to write down and then hopefully sleep as Mary's just had a big feed 🙂

Infection Update (by sarah)

Last Monday the Dr came out to see me as I mentioned and prescribed antibiotics (two different lots) for my wound which was smelling and seeping and it turned out infected in the skin around the wound. Wednesday saw Alaric calling in the emergancy Dr per instructions on Wednesday as the redness had spread. The Dr (a guy this time) told me that it was just the upper levels of skin infected and so it was a type of dermetitis or nappy rash type thing caused by the fluid seeping from the wound. The fluid itself was cuasing or was caused by (not sure) the wound showing superficial breakdown of the skin around it.

By this point it stunk even more 🙁

He was worried that there was no dressing on it - I had been using sanitary pads at the hospital as other mothers had recommended but they told me not too and to get frumpy knickers so that nothing was touching the wound - I'd asked about my stomach flap (my stomach is very floppy now the babies out and so the bottom of the stomach sits on the wound - I thought this might make it go feisty) and they told me to wash the wound three times a day and dry it. So this is what I had been doing. The Dr said he'd talk to the Midwife or District Nurse about maybe putting dressings on it.

The Midwife came on Thursday and discharged the baby as her umbilical stump had finially come off - she looked at the wound and was concerned - saying that I would probably need more antibiotics. She advised me to put one of my maternity pads over the top of my knickers so that it sits on the wound and between it and my stomach :/

So I have been doing this and within a like an hour of doing this the burning, stinging pain of the wound deminished to a dull thud and I felt ok enough to venture out of the house for the first time.

I went on the school run but did not get out of the car and Alaric drove to a coffee place and got me a take away decaf latte to have in the car as he knows I've been missing them!

Initially the pads were coming away covered in wound seepage which included the stinky liquid and blood 🙁 This was actually more than I am loosing as having had baby discharge/giant after birth period but fortunatly the two have swapped places now!

The Dr has also upped the number of pain killers I am taking and said that I could increase my Fe tablets too if I wanted. I am rattling with pills at the moment but they do seem to be doing the trick - it is as the Dr had warned giving the baby the runs which is a pain 🙁 but barable.

I also managed to go out for a meal with my brother and his fiance this weekend though it was a struggle towards the end. The wound is now barable for using the crutches properlly but the breathlessness and dizzyness from the anemia is still there meaning that I almost fell over getting to the car 🙁

But things are definatly on the mend and I am now 12 and a half stone as apposed to the 13 stone when I came home!

Infection :( (by sarah)

Yesterday the Dr came to see me - this was scheduled anyway which was just as well as the night before after posting that everything was fine I noticed my wound was smelling 🙁 Just a bit - when I went to wash it. By the time the Dr got here it was reeking even though I have cleaned it and dried it twice. She looked at it and said there was redness again - but this time it is down around the wound which I can not myself see 🙁

I had felt it was still infected but I'd been showing it to Al and it had looked fine. She's prescribed me two lots of antibiotics which Al went and got straight away. The redness had grown by the time he came back with them - it appears to have shrunk a little bit today - he drew a line around it but when I wash the wound it washes off so we have taken to photographing it instead to try and keep track of it.

I feel this is a set back - I feel well ill to be honest - the fluey-ness is worse and I have developed mouth ulcers. If there is no proper improvement by tomorrow the Dr will come back out but I fear if that happens it's going to be hospital for intraveinous antibiotics plus I really don't like the idea of an infection that is making tens of cm2 of my skin red and hot - it is too close to septacimia and childbed fever - sometimes I think it was a bad idea to have looked into the bits of biology I have.

On top of that I had to phone my mum and tell her that even though her swabs came back clear I now had another wound infection and she needed to tell her Dr before she has her next lumpectomy. They are sending her the body wash you get if your swabs are positive - just in case.

I just feel slightly hacked off that I always get complications :/ Why does nothing ever heal properlly or why is it always me that gets ill or injured - just a bit of self pitty floating around my head. I think partly the issue is that I was looking forward to things being not a painful and to going out in the car - now the wound is burning like fire or spiking and suddenly all I really want to do is sleep and rest again :/

Health Update (by sarah)

Midwife came around again on Friday - the infection appears to have cleared up, I still feel fluey due to the anemia which is also why I am still going faint and seeing stars when I stand up. It is also causing me to be breathless and have heart pangs. Apparently part of this is to do with losing 600 ml of blood during surgery - I didn't think this was too bad - it is only just over a pint and I lost like three prints with Jean's delivery and then continued to have high blood lose (though that did result in me needing fluids put back via drips and talk of transfusions).

But the antibiotics have finished and the large red triangle rimmed in white on my belly has gone (this was hot to the touch and lumpy meaning it was cellulitis - it went from my belly button down and was the reason I wasn't even initially allowed to move hospitals). I have some brusing/blood pooling in the bottom of my belly still where the 'clamps' apparently went but my wound is now only weeping straw coloured liquid which is a good sign. I'm still cleaning it the three times a day - I'm having to run on full body washes as I don't yet have my shower seat and can't get into the bath for a shower due to pelvis.

But! Even the pelvis is not actually that bad! If it wasn't for the wound and the stars I could be out and about with the crutches!

I've been at home for a week now and it is two weeks and a day since Mary was born and I am on the mend - I am a bit run down but that is the Fe issue again. I can't yet face another car journey - the one to get home caused my wound to bleed/weep to the point that I had to go and change all my cloths :/

Mary is fine 🙂 She is infact putting on weight from my breast feeding - which itself is so much easier than it was with Jeany! Her umbilical cord has still not fallen off which we're a bit nervous about so keep making the midwives check (Jean's one got infected so we are being ultra careful and nuerotic about it especially as it is actually a bit fatter than normal - apparently it was full of lots of the jelly!).

I am feeling quiet optamistic about getting better - at the beginning of the week I could bearly lift my feet unless I woddled which strains the pelvis more - now I can lift each foot in turn about an inch and a half off the floor though I cannot sustain this with out pain.

I'm still sleeping on my back but have awoken two days in a row on my side - this causes a lot of pain to move out of but the pain of moving into it did not wake me up so that is a huge improvement 🙂 The right side feels more mobile than the left which was the case after Jeany.

The Dr is coming to visit on Monday and the Health Visitor on Tuesday and there is going to be another Midwife visit next week too so things seem very busy here.

I am getting a little bit board with reading and watching films but at the same time can't really see me going out at all in February to be honest. This translates as your welcome to visit but check first!

Coming Home Sleep Over (by sarah)

Jean is desperate to be involved with the baby which means that on arrival home she worked out how to undo the baby seats straps and was about to lift her out of the seat when spotted by me! I got her to stop for a pick and then had Dad on stand by to supervise her and 'help' her put the baby on the setee for mummy.

I had promised Jean we would have a baby, Mummy, Jeany sleep over complete with film-athon. Above is a photo of the three of us 'watching' a film. Mary spent most of the time feeding and Jean spent most of the time snuggled - I have a bean bag behind me which she sat on for half the afternoon!

We then settled down for the night - more breast feeding and several stories later and they were both asleep - and before midnight too! Jean had been so excited I wondered if she was ever going to sleep!

The sleep over continued on Sunday with Jeany being a Fairy God Sister and there being more films - unfortunatly she did go out to play and ended up with some nasty grazes so we had to mix some chocolate into the day to help her recoup 😉

This was actually quiet alot of fun - but the main point of it is to help Jean feel involved and happy about the babies arrival and feel less worried about me having been away at hospital and the fact Daddy has 'gone'.