Boundary Walk Flare Up (by sarah)

So yesterday as per usual we did the Boundary Walk or Olives Walk - this year was not the full boundary just 9 miles. Alaric didn't think I should do it as I was in a little bit of pain in the morning but it's sort of an important thing for me to do - it was the first 'real' walking I managed after Jean was born and though I didn't manage all of that first years (full 15 mile boundary!) I did manage the first and last part.

Jean has been on at least part of each walk and last year like this year she did the whole walk and was still running and jumping when we got home. Last year her and daddy brought up the rear - this year Jean spent her time running between mummy and daddy so goodness knows how far she actually walked/run!

The walk was hard going for me I have to say - not as bad as that first year but definatly not as good as subsequent years 🙁

By the time we stopped for tea and cakes my pelvis was clicking and the little 'dimple' on the right had size felt inflamed and ouchy to touch, my whole right hip was on fire too. At this point there was a nice lady offering lifts and for whatever reason I managed to miss her and so found my self coninuing on with the walk.

I was definatly bringing up the rear this time - so much so that Alaric begain hanging back with me and had to be a second 'crutch' (I had my hiking stick) for parts of it.

Olive was nice walking back with me towards the end chatting about walking and about walking on the flat - I confided that's why I go shopping in Cheltenham so I can do a long walk on the flat coving one end of the town to the other.

I got a lift back from the walk meeting place which was gratefully received. I almost couldn't stand when I got back out the car though and walking for the rest of the evening was interesting.

I took the painkillers I'm actually allowed at the moment and had a long bath which helped a lot. (I've generally been avoiding any pain killers as I just don't like the idea whilst being pregnant hence my grumpyness)

We went to bed and I found that all feeling of my pelvis shearing 🙁 actions like just sitting up to sip some water felt like my pelvis was being renched on the right hand side 🙁

I finially feel asleep and had nightmares - well they were more a jumble of memories - crutches, physio, pain clinic etc... not getting my shoulder operation because of the state I was in etc...

I awoke sobbing with Alaric hugging me and you know it hit me - I'm petrified of going through labour again, petrified of finding myself in the state I was in with Jeany. I thought I'd got all this sorted in my head - I'm hoping for a C-section but now apparently there is doubt about weather I can have one because of this whole 'natural birth' scheme going on. But I only didn't have a C-section with Jean because the doctor didn't get there in time (as in I moved into the room where C-sections happen and he got called away to someone who was worse than me and by the time he came back Jean was crowning and very stuck).

Anyway this morning I'm on heat treatments but walking is basically out 🙁

However I'm still glad I did the walk - if I hadn't done it I would probably have felt so down at not being able to 'walk' again.

I am also concerned that my pelvis is acting up this much already - I mentioned it at my initial meet up with the mid-wife and at the Drs but it's too early apparently :/ I know it's never really settled down properlly but this is getting to the rolling over in bed and it goes bang stage which didn't happen until the last trimester with Jean.

I suppose it could be all the passing out 🙁

Last night I went and stared at Jean and stroked her hair - she is so bueatiful she was worth all I went through but at the moment I'm having a hard time equating pain with new baby and it's just scary instead.

Chris Al-Asward (by sarah)

Last night I leaned of some sad news, Chris Al-Asward also known as Lethe Bashar died in July just after his 31st birthday. This came as a bit of a shock as I was just wondering where he had got too so went to check his twitter profile. Being the brains and drive behind Escape Into Life I hadn't noticed a complete absence as his other twitter account was still going strong being the one that drove his EIL project.

On his profile page was a tweet saying he had tragically died 🙁 I couldn't believe it and felt crushed at the same time and then that sinking feeling of - do I have the right to be this upset - after all I have never met him in the flesh. He lives the other side of the world but he had found me on twitter and had encouraged me in the realms of art and writing.

When I have pain flare ups I sometimes cannot sleep and he was often there to talk too. I started my art journal because of a side project he started with the idea of it being sold in the EIL shop. I've took far longer on this than I have expected but I love working on the Art/Visual Poetry Journal.

It is also through him that I found The Flying Trilobite a young artist who seeks to combine science and art, I can't remember but I think he was profiled on EIL. And it was then through him I found the paleo-art site Art Evolved finially giving me a way to combine the two parts of me - The Artist and the Scientist.

Part of my anguish last night was having not noticed that someone I regually talk to was gone, I know the last few months have been pretty much a wipe out for me but still 🙁 Also as Alaric agreed with me - what of his books? His work? His Art? His Creations? What would happen to them?

I have been told since that there are plans to publish these and everyone is working hard to mantain the websites. The is also a Prize in the pipelines The Chris Al-Asward Prize for braking down the barriers in the arts.

I did cry and it made me realise that my definition of friendship is probably quiet different from most peoples. I am sad that Chris is gone. I spent last night trying to track down all his sites and stuff - getting stumped for a while until I remembered he'd gotten rid of one of his twitter accounts and stuff like that.

I also signed his memorial book.

TYCHRIS

Summer Holidays (by sarah)

I feel I have slightly failed with the school holidays - I had lots of things planned but in the first week the first three things I attempted to do with Jean where grand failures :/

First off I had planned that she could join a library and we would go once a week during to holidays so we went off to Painswick only to see the library didn't open on Mondays (I should have looked closer at this point but I didn't). I thought never mind lets go to the Museum in the Park in Stroud but when we got there it turned out Mondays was like a special club day and it wasn't open 🙁

Me and Jean looked at the swans and ducks on the lake instead and played wind in the willows.

Then the next day we tried the library again only to find that it is shut perminantly due to public health reasons - now I knew it had been shut a while ago but had assumed it had been fixed :/

Mum and Dad rescued this second day of failure by taking us to Pizza Hut.

The third day I took Jean to Prim Rose Vale Farm Shop where I passed out crushing her ice-cream and having to go to hospital before she had gotten even five minutes on the toys :/

We were doing home school which Jean loves but she loves it too much and just got too tired and haven't really done any for two weeks now :/

I did manage to take her to the Wearable Art Parade in Painswick and she went to the Docks with mum and dad and to Tweksberry. But I found that I had miscalculated and we had run out of money so I couldn't take to the cinamar or to any of the museums :/

I have also failed to organise friends to come and play as they have all been on holiday 🙁

She did however really enjoy the Village Feast 🙂 all two days of it! With lots of her school friends about!

We are starting to gear up making the decorations for her party and her cousins are visiting this week which is more the sort of thing I was expecting. We also have the Boundary Walk at the weekend which she always enjoys 🙂

People are now starting to appear to ask Jean round to play which is good - but I do feel I have failed slightly with organising a good holiday for her and she has been bored and I'm afraid very naughty 🙁

Chicken Lumps (by sarah)

This morning Jean had a shower and then got distressed whilst wrapped in the towel to dry off.

'Mummy!' she cried, 'I've got chicken lumps all over my legs'

As you can imaging I was startled to hear this and went to see how she had got chicken on her.

'Where lovely?'

'There mummy!' She said pointing to the little bumps on your skin when you get cold.

'Do you mean goose bumps?'

'Yes.'

I laughed and tickled her 🙂

Making the Floor Pretty (by sarah)

Feeling light headed once more I went for a lay down, I was awoken by Jean going, 'Mummy I've done a special thing to make you feel better!'

'Oh thankyou Jean what is it??'

'I've made the floor pretty for you!'

'Oh! Ok thankyou Jean' I scrambled out of bed fearing paint and pen all over the carpet. Instead there was lavandar and daisies and buttercups etc... in a trial from my bed to the settee. Jean explained that it would make things smell nice for me to.

I smiled and kissed her and we were clearing up flowers for days!