The Journey Home (by sarah)

"I've hard road to travel and a ruff, ruff way to go..."

Ok so Sunday did not see the smoothest of ways home for me - I started in Gants Hill looking out over London from Clare's gorgous flat. I had been unable to sleep - we'd obviously gone to bed late anyway having chatted half the night away and looking at her photos of Tia Land but more than that my mind raced with ideas of paintings to paint from the songs we'd sung during the day.

Anyway after a couple of cuppas she walked me to the station - I was sad that I still wasn't going to see the kittens that are in another friends house in the area but got to the station in plenty of time and felt good about going home to get stuff done.

The journey across London was fine with a cute little girl keeping everybody entertained on the Hammersmith and City Line and my train was on time at Paddington. But I had 2 changes instead of the none/one.

So making sure I had the correct seat reservation in my hand I moved with the crowd to the train and boarded - and there was bedlam - people arguing and being confused about seat reservations. A couple where confronting a man in orange and yellow robs with flowers around his neck and paint on the bridge of his nose. He moved once he understood it was their seat behind but they where still fussing and blocking things up so I explained it was on their ticket and on the seat and stuff and then it turned out they where upset the man had moved to another reserved seat.

But they had not told him this! And I wasn't entirely happy with how they had said it was their seats I know there was lots of people and it was busy and stuff but a little patients helps - they werent a hundred percent sure of how the reservation system worked either.

Anyway I could just see what was going to happen to this guy he would keep getting slightly annoyed people moving him on so I explained to him about the white tickets and he thanked me - he hadn't known and he went off to find an intagged seat.

Then a bunch of youngish Americans got on (the dude in the robes was from America too San Francisco) - I have to confess it was a very diverse group and I would not have thought they were all together but they where but obviously something had gone wrong one of their seats hadn't got its ticket sticking out of the top so an Austrialian had sat in it thinking it was free!

They were trying to sort this out when a shirty lady told them to move in no uncertain terms and I thought to myself - Aren't we British supposed to be polite? Aren't we supposed to be the nation of queuers? And why is it all the foriegn people who are being tourists and spending money here bulstering our economy are being a lot nicer over confusion of a system they can't really be expected to understand becuase - well its the British rail network and it doesn't work properlly.

Anyway - to my suprise I butted in again only a little bit and stuff got sorted - trueth is it was too many people for the space :/ As trains towards this part of the country were bneing few and far between.

Anyway I settled back for the 40 odd minutes only to find my head phones had broken so had no music.

At Reading it turned out there was a bus to Swindon and not a train and that my ticket wouldn't let me out of the barrier and the only staff memeber was the guy letting people in through the barriers and he wouldn't let me out. With 2 minutes to go and no idea where the 'front' of the station and the waiting bus was I was being to panic but a staff memeber appeared, let me through and looked at me like an idiot when I asked the way to the bus.

But I got there before they started letting people onboard. This was becuase it was slightly delayed.

I had not taken my pain killers due to the stomache pains I was getting but these turned out to be the standard womens thing which was one of the reasons getting to the bus had been so tight in the first place.

Bus sits hurt my back far worse than the train - this is why I don't take the coach - a lady was also sitting next to me so I couldn't stretch out.

When we got to Swindon and she stood up - it turned out she had sat in chewing gum - ooowe yuck! She hadn't noticed so I tapped her and gave her a tissue not that it helped much and then came the next bit of my strangly eventful journey.

I got on the train at Swindon though there seemed to be a little bit of confussion as to which plateform etc... and the train announcements where not coming out onto the plateform and so where muffled nonsense.

But everyone else on board was execting it to go to Cheltenham, Stroud etc... and I so I phoned Al and he set off to meet me in Stroud. And the departure time came and went and we sat there and sat there and sat there and there where no announcements and then about 40 minutes later when people had started shouting on the plateform at the staff they informed us there was no driver and it was going to a 45 minute wait until one arrived.

Then it turned out a little train was due to go to through to all the same stations in 15 minutes instead so with a bit of shoe horning and the upsetting of a large family who had sat in the bit where wheel chairs and that go where told to move so bikes could come on board - this ment some of the kids ended up sitting the opposite end of the train to the perants which the kids werent happy with.

Alot of the people had been on the bus and the over crowded Reading train and tempures were fraying abit - including my own though I ended up in a nice conversation with a girl from York.

And we sat and sat and then we were off and finiallly I got into Stoud where Al and Jean had obviously been for while :/

It is things like this though that make me want to bang everyones heads together - things would have been far more pleasent from the outset if there had not been pushy arogant people (or disgusting cretins who put chewing gum on top of coach seats!).

There isn't really a point to this post I just felt the need to write about the journey.

Singing Day in Aid of Breast Cancer Research Uk (by sarah)

Yesturday I left the house at 7:30 am and got on the 8:03 train to Paddington - all went smoothly and I had one of my normal random conversations with an interesting person on the train - this time a maths examinar.

Of course due to this being something I had had planned for ever and me being me the weekend had been whitteled down so that I was instead of arriving in London Friday night I was arriving just over an hour late at the venue for my choir reunion. I got into London with 20 minutes to get around the circle line and then do the Fenchurch Street Line out into Essex which is of course impossible.

But I had a good run and thanks to a lift from the station got into Cranham at 11:15 only 3 and 3/4 hours after having left erm... Cranham - different counties obviously ;)

I was cheered on the train by hearing the words peg-it and stack-it which told me I was home!

Anyway I was fortunate that they had started a bit late and then done warm up excersises so had only just started on the first song when I arrived.

The itinary of the day was to learn songs in a music workshop with Pete Churchill and then perform them with Sound Company and raise money for Breast Cancer Research UK in doing so!

I was really looking forward to this singing day and was really sad when I thought I would have to cancel at the last minute. Apart from the fact I would get to meet up with old friends and get to sing I was looking forward to the fact it was going to be gospely type music and that there would be now sheets of music handed out - not being able to read music this is joy for me!

I've done several workshops with Pete Churchill now and thourally enjoyed every single one of them and funnily enough they tend to be the songs I remeber - they definatly make up a large portion of those I sang to Jean whilst breast feeding. The first one was when I was like 19 I think and was a residentual at Wiccan House - I was as always on crutches :/ but it is one of my best memories.

The songs he chooses tend to be fun to sing and very what I would term dynamic.

We learnt:

Stevie Wonder - I am Singing, from Songs in the key of life Jimmy Cliff - hard road to travel Ray Charles - little old sun Curtis Mayfield - people get ready

And he sprung another one on us during the performance to show the audience the process of learning. He's got some interesting ideas about memory and retrieval and muscle memory etc...

Sound Company sang the first half of the concert which was stuff like Chattanoogo choochoo and String of Pearls, Sweet Tea etc... Then Pete sang some songs including one of his own called I've Made Up My Mind which was quiet topical for me really!

I also picked up alot on sort of music history as it where - stuff like People Get Ready being one of the songs that let the slaves know about the 'Freedom train' that ran from the south to the north back when America was divided on slavery.

Again due to my current frame of mind this has set me to planning out another painting, a sort of companion for The Strange Fruit of Intolerance.

Pete's little girl sang one of the solos which was very very cute and she did amazingly well considering it was in another language! Oh yeah the first song he taught us was in 3 languages!

The day was full of dynamic energy and enthusiasm and without music I was on the same footing as everybody else - possibly better off actually as it is how I tend to learn songs anyway. I however was saddened to find just how out of practice I am with the singing - I have lost my coordination ie clapping, moving feet and singing at same time was completely out! This was a skill it took four years of Havering Youth Choir to get and its gone :( though I was starting to get it back by the end of the day!

I was also quiet chuffed to be mistaken for being 10yrs younger than I am by a teenager! and to bump into a friend from Sixth Form College who has just joined Sound Company. Also had a good ole catch up with people.

I really miss singing but I don't want to join the village choir as they don't do a wide enough variety of music - I was asked to join a local 'gospel' choir but they only meet like once a month and they give you music to take away and learn the songs - which is absolutely useless to me - plus they only sing in churches for services which is far to restrictive for me.

I've sort of given up with the guitar becuase I just can't work out how to tune it anymore - I've lost the skill - I can tell its out but not how and therefore what to do with it to get it back in :/ Looks like music is going to have wait until I'm in my 30's :/ twitch

Cloud Computing (by sarah)

Being surrounded by geeks and therefore zooming in on key words when on trains or in coffee shops I began to be puzzeled by the term Cloud Computing - it seemed to me that people ment different things when they used this term and recently it has become a buzz word.

I detected three distinct meaning that where never the less interconnected and to some extent nods of how people and businesses now use computers and the internet.

So I painted this picture to represent it.

All three 'cloud computing' meanings banded to and distinct from each other.

I'll be writing a post on what the three definitions are over on Web-Empire at some point too.

Misalignment (by sarah)

Yesturday saw me back at the Dr - he had gotten half way through my notes from Chelsea and Westmister which have been tracked down - yay! Last time this was all be looked at the notes where missing!

Anyway the clicking and back have shown a major deteriation since it was last looked at and he examined all my reflexes again and looked at my neck.

Apparently I have vertebra that are obviously misaligned which needs looking at and maybe causing alot of the back pain. There are other issues too but it is all complex and mashed up together so I am being refered to a specialist and there may have to be an operation.

When it was last looked at outside of pain management was just after the birth when I was still on the crutches and it was desided it was too much for me to cope with. It also turns out that if you are being treated by the pain management team you can't be refered to else where.

So the Dr gave me the option of pain management or the specialist. I said I wanted a definate answer to what it is as it has been getting worse.

He said he agreed and that is the course he suggested but how did I feel about the possibility of an op and stuff. At the end of the day I'm having to look at the long term here - stuff wasn't done whilst I was at Uni cos it would interfer with studies and then not done becuase of Jean but if that carries on I wont be able to do anything anyway.

And so I am back to waiting and have another perscription etc... he said he'd also look into other pain meds for me.

I am trying not to be too optermistic that stuff will get sorted as thats what leads to the crushing hopelessness.

At the moment it appears that there is some chronic under laying condition that means that my body reacts badly to injury and of course stress. Its also going to take a while to sort out but things could not keep going the way they were - when I think on it I'm amazed I didn't collapse sooner.

I am having a flare up/set back as far as the back is concerned at the moment anyway but I'm back to dropping pans and the like which is always upsetting.

The Saga of the Flat Tyre (by sarah)

Yesturday Barbara was getting ready to go out and as always she went to drive Madge - her canary yellow MG convertable round to the front of the house in to await when she was ready. Jean loves to rid in the car for these little manoovers and so it was that I was sitting there working on a book review at the table in the garden when I notice that her rear wheel was - erm as flat as a pancake.

I call to her and she looks and is startled and then confused that she hadn't felt that it was flat.

Anyway (stupidly in hindsight) I wandered off to check the washing on the line and to put some more up in the workshop on the drying rack.

When I come back Jean is standing up in the car whilst Barbara jacks it up on on of those little tiny jacks that looks like two metal brackets bolted together. Jean is playing with the wheel nuts and is absolutely covered in grease.

I tentively ask if I should remove Jean from the vechile Barbara says no it wont make any difference and continues to jack up the car on a slope. I look at the set up and its shifting!

Barbara hasn't noticed and I'm shouting and pulling her away - I have no idea if she was already moving or anything like that. The car smashed down with a wide eyed Jean in it.

'That bumped me mummy' yes and thank god she hadn't been leaning over the side as she had been a few moments earlier when I came upon the scene.

The car was now sitting on its wheel hub :(

I removed Jean and took her to wash the grease off her hands - thinking of how I should have seen what was coming. We came back and Barbara had rejacked the car up and Jean tried to run over to the car as she wanted to go back in it and I grabbed her fearing the car would come back off of the Jack. Jean thought I was being very mean and got very grumpy with me.

But the car did slip again - the searing pressure on the jack just too much - this time it landed on the spare wheel.

Barabara then got another jack out of the garage and started jacking it up again - fearing that she was going to squash herself I stayed in the garden trying to occupy Jean in the 'jungle' so she wouldn't go near the car.

I went back to check just as the car slipped off of both Jacks - Barbara got a third out and Begain again. I was worried by this point - I'm sure that with jacking cars there are only certain places on the chassi that you can put them without twisting the car making it dangerous too drive.

Plus I knew she would just carry on until she either succeeded or something catastrophic happened :(

I couldn't offer to change the tyre for her a) its too physical for me to contemplate at this point in time, b) who would keep Jean away from the car? c) I would never ever risk a car jacked with one of those jacks on flat ground let alone a slop. I grew up playing with jacks and the ones Barbara has really are not safe at the best of times :(

Anyway she then asked me to keep an eye on the wheel and the bolt bits on the hub - so I stood on the bank with a fierce grip on Jean praying that Barbara wasn't going to get hurt and panickig everytime she put her arm between the wheel and the car - my mind couldn't help but think - if the car falls off now she'll loose her arm etc...

All I can do in these situations is voice my concern.

Barbara thought I was being silly not letting Jean near the car as she would have been fine inside it. (not if it then squashed Barbara she wouldn't have been - Jean loves Barbara and that would be a bad bad thing to happen and yes I am probably being a really paranoid mummy again.)

Anyway - she got the wheel back on and then went of to Gloucester in one piece and came back ok too which was a relief.