Jean has mostly been lovely with Mary, happily sitting cuddling the baby and being concerned when she cries. This is unless people announce they are here to see the baby (rather than Jean and the baby) or people have been hugging the baby too much (in Jean's opinion). The baby is very much Jean's so there is a two fold jelousy which we hadn't expected - as in Jean is jelous of the baby getting attention but also of the fact that the baby is with people other than her (mummy and daddy don't seem to count in this which is a relief as it means we can hug and look after the baby with no screaming ab-dabs).
The absolute worse case is my Mum holding the baby for too long - Jean starts trying to prize the baby off of Nanny and the more she is told to leave the baby alone the worse it gets. But next comes other people visiting who want to talk to mummy and or hold the baby - this results in Jean saying that she doesn't like said people or that Mary doesn't like them and that the people should go away. Generally this all calms down but yesterday it resulted in a trantrum and her sitting her room shouting and crying until she went to sleep (which was a relief in itself as she has been getting up early and going to sleep late since the baby was born as she wants to see the baby and play etc.. this has been exhorsting).
I feel really embarrassed when she does this but at the same time it is no where near as bad as we were expecting! The help booklet the NHS says that sometimes the older child does not initially love the baby - normally they love the baby even if they don't always like it but you can't assume this will be the case. Jean loves Mary very much and has from the word go.
But Jeany has been wanting more cuddles, Daddy to carry her up the stairs and in from the car, help getting dressed and wanting to pretend to be burped. This is known as Baby Behaviour - Jean is the mild end of the spectrum with some kids wetting themselves :/
Jean needs to feel looked after too and all those things the baby is getting done for her Jean wants done too. The books say to not say no to this behaviour continously. I think Jeany's mainly doing ok with this whole little sister thing and the main issue has been people taking up my time or me trying to sleep and not doing the Mary, Jean, Mummy time - Jean gets furious if this happens and starts trying to shove the reading books or films into my hands as I'm trying to talk to people 🙁
It has been particually intense this week as it is half term and people are visiting nearly everyday.
Tom Long the long ginger tom cat has been scared of Mary since she arrived in the house though to be fair he is spending most of his time banished outside as he is the snuggliest of the cats and also the biggest by far! But like the gineu pigs and the rabbit - he is scared of Mary! Well he was until the beginning of last week - he now tries to ignore her existance 🙂
Baby Mary 'opening' her present from Granny Lynne and Grandpa Lionel 🙂 I think Jean was more excited about the scarf though as it matches hers 😉
Alaric has always needed more sleep than me when I am being 'healthy' but he does try and help and with the infections and anemia hitting me hard he has been trying to help as I was getting by on like 3 hrs sleep. But this results in my finding him and the baby asleep at random times, I am mostly understanding about this but when I am left with say the baby and Jean to entertain and he is a sleep I get a bit grumpy. Rationally this isn't fair as he needs 8-10 hrs to function and he is still working at the moment.
But Mary does now have long enough gaps during the day between feds that he can put her in the baby carrier and sit at his computer and work - this has been great this last week for me getting naps in and thus helping my body be able to look after its self.
Unfortunatly babies are designed to feed at night and unlike Jean were we were giving her one bottle of fomular a day - at night - Mary is being (now) soley fed on booby milk - this means she is not zonked on formular just before we want to sleep. We have however now got some emergancy cartons in as the other morning Jeany awoke from a nightmare and climbed into bed with me - she kneed my wound accidently and I was in so much pain that when Al bought Mary in becuase she was hungry I told them all to go away 🙁
He can't cope with the baby crying at all and he felt helpless as there was nothing in the house he could feed her with - he says he wont use the formular lightly but it's there just incase. I know it sounds like I am an awful mother but the pain was too much for me to uncurl from too feed the baby and they were all being noisy and I've had a continual headache since I had the baby which peeks when I try and do well anything that's not just laying there (mostly it's not a bad headache and is probably part of the anemia and infection stuff).
Also I am now getting to the stage where I have enough milk that I could consider expressing and having some in the fridge - Al wants me to do that so he can do some of the feeding - but he really is bad on lack of sleep so I'm not sure how much help this will be!
Anyway I leave you with a close up of the Alaric asleep!
Last Monday the Dr came out to see me as I mentioned and prescribed antibiotics (two different lots) for my wound which was smelling and seeping and it turned out infected in the skin around the wound. Wednesday saw Alaric calling in the emergancy Dr per instructions on Wednesday as the redness had spread. The Dr (a guy this time) told me that it was just the upper levels of skin infected and so it was a type of dermetitis or nappy rash type thing caused by the fluid seeping from the wound. The fluid itself was cuasing or was caused by (not sure) the wound showing superficial breakdown of the skin around it.
By this point it stunk even more 🙁
He was worried that there was no dressing on it - I had been using sanitary pads at the hospital as other mothers had recommended but they told me not too and to get frumpy knickers so that nothing was touching the wound - I'd asked about my stomach flap (my stomach is very floppy now the babies out and so the bottom of the stomach sits on the wound - I thought this might make it go feisty) and they told me to wash the wound three times a day and dry it. So this is what I had been doing. The Dr said he'd talk to the Midwife or District Nurse about maybe putting dressings on it.
The Midwife came on Thursday and discharged the baby as her umbilical stump had finially come off - she looked at the wound and was concerned - saying that I would probably need more antibiotics. She advised me to put one of my maternity pads over the top of my knickers so that it sits on the wound and between it and my stomach :/
So I have been doing this and within a like an hour of doing this the burning, stinging pain of the wound deminished to a dull thud and I felt ok enough to venture out of the house for the first time.
I went on the school run but did not get out of the car and Alaric drove to a coffee place and got me a take away decaf latte to have in the car as he knows I've been missing them!
Initially the pads were coming away covered in wound seepage which included the stinky liquid and blood 🙁 This was actually more than I am loosing as having had baby discharge/giant after birth period but fortunatly the two have swapped places now!
The Dr has also upped the number of pain killers I am taking and said that I could increase my Fe tablets too if I wanted. I am rattling with pills at the moment but they do seem to be doing the trick - it is as the Dr had warned giving the baby the runs which is a pain 🙁 but barable.
I also managed to go out for a meal with my brother and his fiance this weekend though it was a struggle towards the end. The wound is now barable for using the crutches properlly but the breathlessness and dizzyness from the anemia is still there meaning that I almost fell over getting to the car 🙁
But things are definatly on the mend and I am now 12 and a half stone as apposed to the 13 stone when I came home!
Uncategorised | sarah | 
Thu 24th Feb 2011 2:16 pm | 
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