le jbocifnu (by alaric)

As I mentioned before, I'm teaching Mary Lojban.

The project that lead to Lojban was originally started to explore an idea - the Sapir-Worf hypothesis states that language influences thought; in its strongest form, one cannot imagine a concept one cannot put into words (but that's been largely discredited now). The weak version of the hypothesis is that language can hinder or help our cognitive processes.

Lojban was designed as a language with as much expressive density as possible - letting you clearly express precise concepts easily. The idea is that somebody who can think in Lojban can think more clearly than somebody thinking in English, for example.

I've been learning it myself, and I've certainly found it interesting - I'm limited by my slowly-expanding vocabulary, but already, I often find myself using Lojban concepts in my inner dialogue. There are concepts covered by a large class of irregular grammar in English that are just a single word in Lojban, and identifying the commonalities between all these bits of English into one thing is, in my experience, providing a lot of insight.

But it'd be awesome if I could teach my daughter to think awesomely. It'd certainly help us to attain world domination. Some of the more far-out possibilities in Lojban might take a few generations of native Lojban speakers to fully understand!

However, nobody seems to have taught Lojban to a newborn baby before, so I'm having to work out how to do it myself, based on advice from people raising bilingual children in other languages. I'm mainly starting with Lojban's attitudinals before, which are simple words used to attach emotional context - whereas in English, emotion is expressed with subtle yet crude changes in wording and emphasis, Lojban has a rich set of words to explicitly attach attitudes to sentences or any part thereof. They're useful on their own, too, to simply express the emotion on its own without making any actual statement.

They're perfect for the simple emotional world of babies, and they're easy to say. Here's the ones I've been using:

• {.uu .oidai} ("Oooh Oy-die") - "Aw, you're suffering/uncomfortable"
• {.ui .oinaidai} ("Whee, Oy-nie-die") - "Yay, you're comfortable"
• {.i'i} ("Ee-hee") - "We're together"
• {.i'isai} ("Ee-hee sie") - "We're very together" (eg, whole family cuddle!)
• {.oi} ("Oy") - "Grr, I am suffering" (eg, when something goes wrong for me during a nappy change)
• {.oipei} ("Oy pay") - "How are you feeling on a comfortable <-> uncomfortable axis?"

There's a vast repository of more and more subtle emotions that can be expressed as time passes.

But I'm also using some actual sentences, too. Mainly things like {xu do xagji} ("Hoo doe hag-jee"), "Are you hungry?" and pointing out what things are {ti mamta} ("Tee mamta") "That's your mum, that is!". And sometimes I throw in complex sentences, even though she won't understand, because it's useful to get used to the sound of sentences: {.iu lo mensi be do .e lo mamta be do .e mi cu prami do} ("you low mensee be doe eh low mamta be doe eh me shoe pramee doe") "your sister, your mother, and I love you" (said with a loving attitude, which doesn't quite translate into English).

But as she develops, I'm keen to explore the cases where Lojban and English don't match up well, as they are the mind-opening things that have already taught me more about language and thought. {ti mo} is a good question - it literally asks what relationships the pointed-at object is involved in or what properties it has, which invite a wide range of answers from "it's a cat" and "it's black" to "it exists in a three-dimensional space" (which sounds bizarre for a child in English, but {se canlu} ("Se shanloo") is a short phrase in Lojban that is the natural way to distinguish a real or toy cat from a picture of a cat).

All of these are rather verbose technical-sounding concepts in English, but that's part of the beauty of Lojban - they're simple words, forming parts of the core lexicon, and so they are easier concepts to teach in it!

Pictures of Baby Mary from the Hospital (by sarah)

Day One

Day Two

Day Three and Four

For some reason Alaric didn't bring the camera into Stroud Mat - I think he may have taken more photos on his phone though!

Coming Home Sleep Over (by sarah)

Jean is desperate to be involved with the baby which means that on arrival home she worked out how to undo the baby seats straps and was about to lift her out of the seat when spotted by me! I got her to stop for a pick and then had Dad on stand by to supervise her and 'help' her put the baby on the setee for mummy.

I had promised Jean we would have a baby, Mummy, Jeany sleep over complete with film-athon. Above is a photo of the three of us 'watching' a film. Mary spent most of the time feeding and Jean spent most of the time snuggled - I have a bean bag behind me which she sat on for half the afternoon!

We then settled down for the night - more breast feeding and several stories later and they were both asleep - and before midnight too! Jean had been so excited I wondered if she was ever going to sleep!

The sleep over continued on Sunday with Jeany being a Fairy God Sister and there being more films - unfortunatly she did go out to play and ended up with some nasty grazes so we had to mix some chocolate into the day to help her recoup 😉

This was actually quiet alot of fun - but the main point of it is to help Jean feel involved and happy about the babies arrival and feel less worried about me having been away at hospital and the fact Daddy has 'gone'.

Home (by sarah)

I got home yesterday afternoon - I've busted my phone by dropping it at the hospital so of course have no ones numbers :/ So I'm sorry if anyone turned up to visit today or yesterday!

I'm happy/would love people to visit the house.

I'm not in my own bed as there are like half assembled coats and things in the way but we had a lovely Mary, Jean, Mummy sleep over last night and Jeany says she wants another tonight 🙂

Apart from that - well were to begin!

There is so much I could say, so much I want to say and so much I need to say - but it is all rather over whelming - so prepare yourselves for a lot of blogging and cute pictures - I have probably taken excessive amounts of Jean and Mary and Mary and Alaric and you are all going to be subjected to them!

I have two lovely little girls - both bueatiful and special, similar and different and wonderful!

I am finishing my antibiotics today - there is still a painfull lump just above the wound and the wound is a bit weepy which is being checked out tomorrow. I am sort of hoping I don't have to go on more antibiotics as with Jean it resulted it icky side effects :/

Pelvis is still separated but it is no where near as bad as with Jeany's laabour. I have already seen a physio and have a number to ring to get equipment back so I can shower and stuff on my own - this is very important to me as I need to feel I can do things. I can't start a proper exercise regime for another 5-6 weeks at the moment and I can't have physio until 6 weeks time. But I can just about walk with the crutches and now the iron tablets are taking effect I am not passing out or being shaky I can walk a way - not enough to say go shopping or even get to the end of the drive yet - but I am getting there!

I am much much happier with the medical treatment recieved this time round - both hospitals were fantastic and the after care has been brilliant.

There have been random bouts of tears but I know this time round that this is normal - it's what happens when you've just had a baby!

I am actually feeling pretty good - reguardless of not having had more than 4 hrs un-interrupted sleep for the last week! I am also only 13 stone which considering I started the pregnancy off at coughs 12 stone I think is not bad! I want to get down to a proper weight though but am also planning to try and do this over at least a year and to not overly worry about it.

I have discovered I am nuerotic about the house and had apoplexy when I came home - shouted at everybody and made them clean last night (in the process I have discovered shouting hurts the c-section wound :/ as does; crying, laughing and sneezing).

I am more resolved than ever to write The Glass Pelvis but mainly I am enjoying my two children - lots of cuddles and snuggles and with me and Jeany lots of giggling (don't get me wrong she is still throwing tantrums and being distracted as is to be expected but she is behaving better than we expected! It's more she's upset that people take her baby away from her).

Of course I am missing Alaric more than you can imagine but he will be back on Tuesday.

Lastly I have so many people to thank for messages and cards and flowers and little cardigans and chocolate and help when the pregnancy got really hard. So thankyou all 🙂

Stroud Maternity (by alaric)

Sarah was a bit under the weather with anemia and an infection, but the infection cleared up with antibiotics and the anemia is improving with iron supplements. Her separated pelvis is hurting her, but that's to be expected after spending so much time lying or sitting due to the initial recovery and subsequent anemia, which makes her tire easily. It'll improve as she moves about more, and as the pregnancy hormones drain from her system, the ligaments will firm up again and it will return to normal.

Mary, meanwhile, is doing fine!

However, Sarah was sufficiently recovered yesterday to be driven down to Stroud Maternity. She'd been in Gloucester Royal Hospital's maternity ward, which was great - it's shiny and new, and the staff are skilled, professional, and take the time to reassure and discuss everything.

However, Stroud Maternity is a local legend, and we were keen to explore the chance to stay there. Everyone we know who's been there swears by the place. If we had been going for a normal delivery with no expected complications, Mary would probably have been born there.

When we arrived, I at first wondered what all the fuss was about. It was small, and not all shiny and new. Sarah was put into a smaller room, with an older model of bed. It seemed... quiet, and empty. Everyone had said you had much better care from the staff here, but Gloucester Royal had been teeming with staff; here, a few people in casual clothes sat in offices with the door open onto the single corridor.

But once we'd unpacked, and Sarah had regained her strength from the car journey and wheelchair transfers so we could start exploring, it began to make sense. Sarah and Mary are in a side room, but a few doors down the corridor widens into a little ward. One wall has about four alcoves with beds in, while the other wall has a small kitchen, with supplies to make hot drinks, and an alcove full of toys and games for elder siblings. In the middle of the ward is a large wooden table, where meals are served; they put out placemats and serve the food on proper plates, rather than hospital trays, and the dinner lady brings cups of tea round. A bowl of fruit sits in the middle of the table at all times. There were three ladies in the place when Sarah came out for dinner; one stayed in her room, but the other emerged and sat opposite us, and we chatted about babies and this and that over dinner. Beyond the ward is a room with comfy chairs and a TV, and large windows looking out onto a lawn with trees.

Later that evening, as I was settling Mary and Jean down to leave, Mary kept gumming hungrily and wailing, but Sarah was hurting from breastfeeding too much, so she dispatched me to ask for formula milk so I could take over; the midwife was surprised that we thought that necessary and concerned that breastfeeding was hurting Sarah, and came in to see Sarah, and quickly pointed out that she wasn't holding Mary in a way that would encourage her to get the most milk out, and a few other tips that helped her then feed from Sarah until she slept. Sarah was then sad that we'd had not breastfeeding support when Jean was born, and she'd been suffering all this time - and when the midwife later let me out through the security doors, she noted that Sarah had seemed a bit distressed, and asked me if I felt she'd said the right things; I quickly explained, and she said she'd try to help.

So, I wouldn't have a bad word to say about Gloucester Royal. It certainly has the advanced facilities to deal with complications in labour, Cesarean sections, and serious medical problems after birth; they've got neonatal incubators, and cardiac crash teams on call, and all that. But if a mother and baby are past needing all that stuff, there's a lot to be said for Stroud Maternity as a small, cozy, place without medical uniforms, disturbing medical equipment bristling with tubes standing on hand in the corridors, and the bustle and sterility of the hospital. Somewhere to sit and chat with other people in the same situation, and friendly midwives with time to talk, and have all the domestic stuff handled for you before you are strong enough to return home.