Alex’s Funeral (by )

Such a buetiful day, and I am panicking, panicking about how I look and what to say and weather I am good enough to read at his funeral. I feel like I have to look nice to show what a nice person he is. I know that makes no scense but that is how I feel.

Carina spent last night here which is good because I am cracking up and being angry at Al for not having a clean suit but then thats my fualt as his suit needed cleaning on the Sunday we found out about Alex but I have done no house work no laundry no living since I found out.

I am hoping that today is going to give me some sort of rest from this ache. this hole that burns its way into every concous thought.

Such a buatiful day - this just can't be right, this can't be happening I must be dreaming a bad dream - please let it be a bad dream.

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