Plan B (by alaric)
I've hired a car to take up to the Lake District this weekend.
A Peugeot 308 with 350 miles on the clock that smells of new, picked up in London Euston, drop off in Gloucester, four days, for £166 from Avis at zero notice and with nothing more than a debit card and a clean licence with the same name on and a photo that matches my face - not bad at all. 1car1 was offering £200 for the same thing, but I'd need a utility bill, which by some miracle I don't happen to normally carry with me!
The van will stay here until I return next week and then I'll transport it to a place of fixing.