Abandoned Child (by )

Monday loomed large at me and it was Jean's first fall day at school trial.

So I packed her lunch and dressed her and off she went with Daddy to school.

And then I got absorbed with tidying the house and writing and even a bit of gardening and drawing and then at about 2:30 when I was thinking about sorting out pick up Barbara's gardener Inga started asking me questions and then Mary Barbara's cleaner turned up to return some plants and things and started talking to me too.

And I forgot about school pick up - in my mind Jean was safe in school and it was a whole day just like pre-school and nursery except - we used to leave at 5 to pick Jean up from them.

I needed to be back at the school at 3 pm not 5 pm. At 3:15 I wonder upstairs to talk to Alaric and discover that no one has gone to get Jean - so I shout at Al and tell him to phone the school and grab dad and we drive up there.

Jean was sitting in with the teacher drawing and chatting away and I got told off - and then when I tried to explain that Barbara wasn't here and her cleaner and gardener wanted to talk to me it sounded so pathetic and some how stuck up.

They said that normally reception children would have cried and Jean didn't she was perfectly happy - they did point out this was a good thing as it ment that she's adjusted well and as it was the end of a full day as well it shows she's definatly ready.

Jean was very happy all the way home pretending to be a ghost and telling me about her day.

But then we got home and she got her lunch box out - 'Mummy you made me wait the longest and I didn't have a spoon for my yogurt' at which point I burst into tears.

I felt I'd really really let her down, I've been making her yogurt for school as she's been staying for lunches this last week but I keep forgetting the spoon or her drink or her sandwitches or to put something in the sandwitch and even the entire lunch. 🙁

I am finding remembering everything hard at the moment 🙁 She hugged me lots and then told me she had drunk the yogurt so it was ok - and then I cried more becuase I was failing and crying in front of her and then Al appeared and hugged us both.

I then spent the afternoon snuggled with Jean on the setee watching Mysterious Cities of Gold and eating popcorn - Jean was incredulous that the popcorn came out of bag and I didn't put the popping machine on :/ but she eat it anyway.

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