Grrrr!!!!!! (by sarah)

went to the doctors yesturday for an emergancy appointment becuase Jean was throwing up my milk n had well vvv runny poo and my breasts hurt - it turns out that I dont have mastitise or anything like that - my breasts hurt cos the stupid Mother Care bras dont support my bust enough n Jean is just to greedy so I should feed her in one specific position.

What the doctor did discover though is that I'm run down which is causing painfull absissed ulcers in my mouth and I have an anul tear :'( which is v painful (I thought it was piles and only said somethign cos it got rediculuslly painfull) Well this meansI'm now bleeding from three orifices (not that anyone actually wants to know this!)

We then spent the rest of the day hunting down a tire shop (me n the perants) n finding somewhere that could do my prescription - this means that my dishwasher didnt get finished with being installed nwe now dont have a functioning kitchen sink.

Infactthis weekend has been a bit of a disaster - ist mum n dad had a tire blow out on route with the van (full of more of our stuff) and ended up stranded in a car park in oxford for the night. Babara and Al had to go and rescue them the next morning n what with their medical problems, getting cold n having no sleep they where really whiped out.

This ment that I hadto rush off n meet Als mother by myself with the baby n crutches n being v stressed, Al was an hour late n Babara trying to help had told her thatit was becos he was rescuing my perants so - well she threw a strop! but only once poor Al had turned up. She rejected our offer to stay so my perants came up with more of our stuff n stayed instead - she was making the journy for two hours of meet up which is blatently rediculous n then started about that it was a good job she wasnt staying cos there wasnt room.

Then she decided that we should go for a walk (bearing in mind I'm on crutches still) which ment she went racing off round all the shops n started looking for Monsoon children n cap shops etc... n sayign that all children should have this or thatn our pram wasnt good enough cos it wasnt a three wheeler n Al would have to just get on with his work n give the baby to me etc...

I couldnt keep up n had to give up after twenty minutes, I thought I was being paraniod in thinking that she was trying to loose me in the crouds n things but it turns out that thats exactly what she was doing n she lambed straight into Al as soon as they got round the cornor from me. She told him he was inconsiderate n didnt care about other peoples feelings n he shouldnt have been late - he asked her if she really thought he should have left two aging diabvetics one with a heart condition stranded for hours more just so he wouldnt be late - she then started saying they should look after themselves n things (its our van n it had our stuff in). She told him that he'd surrounded himself with useless people nthat she felt sorry for Jean having such inconsiderate perants as us 🙁

She also accussed all in the cafe of hitting Jean when all he was doing was winding her - shekept asking me why I was letting him hit my baby, then she started saying that Jean would get shaken baby sindrom n we would go to prison :'( Al obviously was crushed by these comments she then ran off from Al in tears saying he didnt care about her n that he was rude.

I had to spend ages assuring Al that she's the bad perant n not him 🙁

Anyway apart from me now wanting to kill my mothering law, the work n shopping that where supposed to be done on Saturday had to be done on Sunday n my dad started the job on the dishwasher cos we thought we would havemonday to finish it but it turned out that the stuff BnQ had wassnt quiet right n our attempted bodge didnt work n thenthey had to take me to the doctors on monday n Al was at a meeting for the whole day he hadnt been expecting. As a result I now not only have no dishwasher but also have no kitchen sink 🙁 n poor dad thinks its all his fualt which it so bleeding well isnt!

Then today I managed to fall over trying to show the chimney sweep where he could plug in his giant hoover n he had to go nget Al cos I couldnt get up nhavent deared the stairs yert cos of the pain:(

ok rant over!

Ohmy God!!! (by sarah)

Whilst breast feeding Jean often pullsher self off the nipple and looks starled/horrified - when she did theis today Al intergected a personalo commentry for her. Quote:

Oh my God!!! I've just realised I'm sucking another girls tit, I'm drinking another human beans bodily fluid - Oh my God!!! Mmm but it tastes nice though (as she plunges back in for more)

Bye Bye Broccly the Hamster :( (by sarah)

For those who care, Broccly are cute fluffy hamster passed away last night, we've buried her in her hamster ball with some of her favourite foods and some purple flowers, up in the little wood thing near us.

This involved a covert operation last night around midnight but its a nice spot.

She was fluffy and we shall miss her.

Silly body broke again :( (by sarah)

Yep! I'm sick again, n have zillions of deadlines (well ok only 5 but still.... ) Soar throat, stomache ache n I can't stop flipping sneezing, and i think someones slipped a vice onto my head-so not to bad, still been making it in to maths and physics. Cough, cough....

Sleep, sleep, is the mind killer? Oops no wronge film. Silly maggot nightmares, go away!!!

Sleep, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Exocist the Beginning (by sarah)

Well, I insisted that we see the Exocist the beginning and though it probably makes lots of people jump and freaks people out, I'm freaked by the maggots and thats all really, shudder. Ok to make things worse I've been having nightmares about maggots for a couple of weeks now and can't get the imagry of them borring into my live flesh (yes I klnow they only eat rotten dead flesh) normally through something like the tearducts etc....

That bloody rat as a child, David remembers it too, (he came to the cinamear with me and Alaric), childish curiousity led me to poke it with a broom handle in the twilight, well it was blocking the entrance to my wendy house, the smell was horrendous, it had just looked like a small fluffy animal and at first I wasn't sure if it was dead and was worried that if it was I'd catch something by touching it and if it wasn't it would bite me. Then I got made to clean it up 🙁 my first introduction to maggots and I was wearing jellies, they came towards me 🙁 I used an entire bottle of disenfectant on the door way of the wendy house and the did similar to my self worrying that somehow I'd missed one, and that they would eat me, silly I know but it makes my skin crwul!

I had several more encounters culminating in the subortage of my cupboard in 2nd yr halls, someone had put chicken n pots of cream in there and I didn't know. I hadn't used the cupboard for six weeks due to exams and field trip. I was very ill after the feild trip due to period and possible food poisoning etc... so I went to make my self a cup of mint tea to try and settle things, I didn't notice the biohazard sing, it being dark and me half asleep. Maggots spilled out of the cupboard, I had baer feet and was in a nighty but I thought they where just fruit ones as I'd had a vague memory of having left a bannana in there (which I remembered on the coach on the way out on the feild trip) I started cleaning up the cupboard when I found the souporated chicken-I through up, I went into paranoid shock, thinking that they could smell the blood and that they would consider it rotting flesh, compulsion made me try to clean the cupboard but I ended up hyperventalating outside Becky the subwardens door. She made me tea and I had nightmares 🙁

This recent bout of nightmares was caused I think, by the fact that I found catapillars on the ceilling of our kitchen but at first I thought they where maggots and it was only when I was removing then avec glass jar and long scoopy thing, that I saw they where just catapillars (which made more sense anyway).

I think the maggot fear was already there when I encountered the rat, strange.

Oh well.

Suppose I'll try to sleep tonight, wish me luck!