Coming Home Sleep Over (by sarah)

Jean is desperate to be involved with the baby which means that on arrival home she worked out how to undo the baby seats straps and was about to lift her out of the seat when spotted by me! I got her to stop for a pick and then had Dad on stand by to supervise her and 'help' her put the baby on the setee for mummy.

I had promised Jean we would have a baby, Mummy, Jeany sleep over complete with film-athon. Above is a photo of the three of us 'watching' a film. Mary spent most of the time feeding and Jean spent most of the time snuggled - I have a bean bag behind me which she sat on for half the afternoon!

We then settled down for the night - more breast feeding and several stories later and they were both asleep - and before midnight too! Jean had been so excited I wondered if she was ever going to sleep!

The sleep over continued on Sunday with Jeany being a Fairy God Sister and there being more films - unfortunatly she did go out to play and ended up with some nasty grazes so we had to mix some chocolate into the day to help her recoup 😉

This was actually quiet alot of fun - but the main point of it is to help Jean feel involved and happy about the babies arrival and feel less worried about me having been away at hospital and the fact Daddy has 'gone'.

My 30th Birthday (by sarah)

Today I am 30, the dreaded 30! Something I've been dreading to be honest - but Alaric is going to be organising me a party in the summer 🙂 So I am having my official birthday then and thinking about my twenties I am sort of relieved to be leaving it!

So far today I've been woken up by a five year old twice to be given presents! The first time she presented me with a pair of purple and black lacy knickers - which would have been disturbing except they had sparkly penguins on and she has no concept of them as anything other than something nice to ware! Daddy had been a bit worried about letting her buy them but she found them whilst they were out shopping and got very insistant and had enough pocket money!

Alaric gave me some packets of a new craft material to try in all the colours currently avalible called sygeru! First thing I'm going to do with it is fix my glasses!

The second time was when she came in from school (she was convinced I hadn't actually gotten up but I had and had to go back!). She gave me some cardboard and rubber and the russian dolls I'd given her and then her and Daddy bought in my present.

A purple sparkly electric guitar with the trianglular body shape I have always wanted! Unfortunatly it has been damaged in transit meaning that part of the veneer is chipped off in the corner (were the packaging was busted :/ ) and the 'top' string is broken. But it is still bueatiful! It's neck and shape means that I think it is actually going to be easier to play than my acoustic which is always good news were my hands are concerned! Of course I know nothing of how to play it 😉

Jean had got me a mini amp and cable (she said she'd bought it on the internet with Daddy's card! They'd rushed out on Friday and bought a battery for it too :). Alaric had been going to get the string sorted for today but run out of time at the weekend (mainly due to me needing new art supplies for a special baby/Jean present I'm working on!).

This morning whilst Jean was at school I've been reading Mort by Terry Pratchette, drawing the front cover of a poetry book and did some writing and things. This is a lovely contrast to yesterday which is sort of the point!

There has been lots of guitar stuff since Jeany came home from school - I got her a guitar for Christmas and have been giving her lessons 🙂

I am currently slowely pottering about setting the table for dinner and writing (using pacing as I can't really manage to stand for more than 6 mins at a time at the mo!). Alaric and Jean have prepared food for tonight at the weekend so that we can have a nice meal tonight 🙂

Then we are going to have a go at the Dinosaur game - so I am very happy 🙂

And the other thing is I still have my party in the summer to look forward too!

Keeping Positive (by sarah)

It is 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday and I am up and awake and in alot of pain. I haven't slept and am feeling down right grotty. Last night before sleep was attempted I got angry with everyone as I fought the pain and then when I tried to leave the room found that my walking had got so bad I had to use my arms on the furniture to get to the stairs where I promtly burst into what were supposed to be quiet tears.

I've been using crutches outside and attempting to keep walking but have been ok on the short distances needed for shuffling round the house but then a few days ago I slipped on something Jean had left on the floor resulting in a painful crunch from my pelvis. Alaric found me clinging to the door frame of her room. Pelvis didn't really settle much after that - and it felt like when you sprain your ankle. Then last night I went out to a poetry ready and music event (which was fantastic) but the step up to the stage was so high that it hurt getting up there too read and I ended reading my poems shaking - I wasn't sure how much was nerves and how much was pain.

Then tonight we went out for mums birthday - it was postponed from Friday due to her having to have a biopsy for another breast lump 🙁 She gets the results next Friday. When we got home I went upstairs to change and as I tried to change into trousers I cried out in pain. My pelvis again - since then I have not even really been able to hobble - I thought it would settle down but hasn't.

The tears were because the pain is so bad but also because though it has been slow going I have been able to move about with the crutches and in the house with out them - getting little bits of say house work done here and there. This last week when Al went to London were iffy anyway as I found I couldn't do anything really - I managed to feed, wash and cloth me and Jean and feed animals and that is it. Mum and Dad arrived to a house where Jean had unmade the setee, there was three days worth of washing up in the kitchen, the fire no lit and rug covered in crumbs.

Things are seeming quiet bad - and suddenly the third trimester of this pregnancy seems to stretch to infinity. Especially when it was seriously suggested that I might like to cut up some fire wood for Barbara as it would be good exercise for me :/ I was sort of hoping that now we have a car that we could go swimming which is about the only thing I'm supposed to do :/

But I am trying to keep positive.

Mum's biopsy will hopefully be fine fingers crossed

And I am getting a replacement string from my guitar and two books of guitar music - Nursery Rhymes and Christmas Carols so I can play and me and Jeany can sing together. I am also focusing on my writing - I am obviously doing Nanowrimo and PiBoIdMo and am now able to get to some of the nano write-ins. I am going to these reguardless of pain other wise all I have is the pain. It is the same with the poetry reading and stuff - besides I really wanted to see the music and probably more importantly talk to my friends (even if they were distracted as they were running the event!).

The main thing I fear at the moment is losing the use of my hands again - but even then I am trying to remember that the hands don't forget the muscle memory I give them they just don't work for a while and yes it takes a while to get full functionality back but what I learn stays lernt. This is important for me with things like the guitar.

I can't say I'm not feeling down because I am = I have lost the freedom I fought to get by no longer being able to get to the bus stop under my own steam and with the way my pelvis is now being I don't think I can even get out of our little bit of valley 🙁

But I got accosted by people who liked my poetry one Friday - including in the girls toilets! And I am going to a Prize Giving as one of my poems has been short listed on Wednesday. This things I am holding dear.

I am writing draft two of the novel I hope to submit to the Pratchette Prize as well which seems like an achievement in itself.

And lastly - this pregnancy is still much much MUCH better than Jeany's plus unlike last time I can see this bueatiful little girl who is being like my best friend most of the time and I think yes it was hard - so hard last time but look what I got! I have my Jeany and I'm going to have another one 🙂

Jean's been asking me to go through the songs I used to sing to her as a small baby - some of which are the same as now and some of which are different. The first song I sang to her was a sung grace saying thankyou I learnt in Kenya. I thought I was going to die with her and then with the miscarriage and infection we were worried that there wasn't a hope for another baby and yet here I am in the third trimester. This makes me happy - honest - even though I cry in pain I am happy.

Spiky Spoken Word (by sarah)

This Friday I am going to be reading my poetry and depending on how brave I'm feeling maybe some of my sort of rap/performance geek poetry at the Frog and Fiddle . It costs about £4 to get in I think and on top of that there is A F Harold who is well worth a watch for his interesting poems (I'm not biased because he used one of my cats names in his Tweet Poetry for the Cheltenham Lit Festival honest!). There is also Men Diamler and Brown Torpedo who I have been meaning to blog about for ages and have like photos of performances and stuff but haven't gotten round to yet!

Men Diamler is what I think of as a sort Nick Cave / White Strips mix with a dark middle English ring to it. He weaves fantastical and often tragic tails in his music and yes I am a fan 😉

Brown Torpedo are erm... well the only way I can think of describing them off the top of my head is, I suppose - Trippy with that sort ethereal swerl allowing dreams of the present day - or something Simon from Uni would make us all listen too and then tell me they don't exist and I imagined them the next day!

Dyspraxia Awareness Week (by sarah)

It is Dyspraxia Awareness Week! And as I didn't know about it until yesterday I am trying to spread the word!

10th - 17th of October.

Firstly what is Dyspraxia I here the multitudes cry (ok well one or two of you anyway) - Dyspraxia is sort of Dyslexia of movement - obviously it is a lot more than this but that is the easy way of putting it.

There are other things associated with it such as loose joints and speech difficulties. I was 'diagnosed' with both Dyslexia and Dyspraxia at the beginning of my A'levels - there is a huge overlap between the two along with ADHD and Aspergers. I have posted on this before here.

I knew of the Dyslexia Association but not that there was a Dyspraxia Foundation.

Anyway I will probably do another few posts on this topic through out the week - you have been warned!